There are better ways of going about getting a woman's attention ... than just walking up and biting her in the shoulder, then as she screams in pain say, "You smell good and look yummy." Such as the guy who did that to me the other night while I was minding my business talking to my girlfriends at the dive Tropicana.

What do I look like, a stack of pancakes?

I felt like slapping Jack, but I didn't. I just swatted my finger in front of his face and said, "No" like he was a dog. He did just bite me after all. Should I maybe get a rabies shot?

What. The. F%$#?

Has the vampire craze in Hollywood got guys acting like vampires? Or do they really exist? Because now I've developed a slight fear of them and have looked into garlic accessories.

What's even weirder about this is the fact this isn't the first time this has happened to me. That said, I feel the need to say that this is not the best way to pick up women. In fact, it may be the worst. Right in front bragging about how much money you have. Both equally annoying.

Make your mark in a better way than leaving teeth marks.