Once upon a time there was a girl — a goofy, geeky tomboy, rather — who auditioned for a cheerleading squad. A fairy godmother came along and completely made her over, and somehow (perhaps even magically) she transformed into an NFL cheerleader. I'm not going to say, "And she lived happily ever after" here, because this isn't a fairy tale. It's my story — and just the beginning of the calamity of errors that became my life.

Where in being read fairy tales did little girls confuse dreaming of becoming a princess and finding a prince, to becoming a cheerleader?

... I don't know, but I can tell you how you can live out those childhood fantasies.

The Charlotte Bobcats' Ladycat auditions are June 11, starting at 10 a.m. at Time Warner Cable Arena. But these girls aren't cheerleaders by any means, they're dancers. NBA dancers. And they have a choreographer who is All-Pro in the dance scene. So, if you're one of the many young women who need a stage, might I suggest the arena floor.

Anyone can audition ... even 6 feet tall men. See,

And as you can see, I am one of the judges for auditions. But I don't judge, I just like to dance ... to the beat of my own drum, much like the tall guy in a wig pictured above.

You can find information on auditions here. Goooooo You!