Welcome to the first edition of Blind Leading the Blind. I feel that I make a lot of mistakes so that I can learn from them ... and then teach others not to make them. And that's why I'm here, for you. So if you need guidance on the perils of dating in Charlotte (and someone to keep it real) hit me up at brittney.cason@creativeloafing.com.
Assault and Blackberry Battery
Dear Brittney,
My boyfriend travels a lot for work, so he's gone a lot. He texts me all day long to tell me he misses me and loves me and that he got to his destination safely, but he never actually calls me. He used to always call me to say good night, but doesn't anymore. And when I call him his Blackberry goes straight to voice mail and he says his phone died or broke or something. But it happens ALL THE TIME. Like every time he goes away. He hasn't given me any reason not to trust him, but I just can't make sense of it. I don't know how to bring it up to him without sounding like I don't trust him. Do you think he's cheating?
Sincerely,
Blackberry Blues
Dear Blackberry Blues,
I think for starters he needs a new phone or charger … problem solved. The problem with the phone at least. Though that does seem suspect, especially if he’s not actually picking up the phone to drain the battery — anyone with a Blackberry can contest to its short battery life. But there are other questions you should be asking: Has his behavior changed otherwise? Do you need to recharge your relationship in addition to his Blackberry battery?
They do make travel chargers you know — you could get him one and do something sweet for him without looking suspicious or insecure. And in turn take away his excuse that his "phone broke." If he hasn’t given you a reason not to trust him, don’t go fishing for one. But then again, don’t all hotel rooms have phones? Just saying!
Love,
Brittney
When Harry met Sally ....
Dear Brittney,
I have a good guy friend whom I've had a crush on forever. I've given him hints, but he doesn't seem to pick up on them. Do you think he just doesn't want to hurt our friendship? I'm scared to tell him how I feel because if he doesn't feel the same way, then I'll ruin our friendship. Help!
Sincerely,
Friend Without benefits
Dear Friend Without Benefits,
Platonic co-ed friendships are usually hard to have because typically the man wants to sleep with the woman, or at least thinks about it. And he will usually try if given the opportunity, regardless of how much he respects the woman and their friendship. If you've thrown yourself at him and he isn't receptive, I hate to say it, but he very well may only think of you as a friend. Does he talk to you about other women? If so, then it's highly likely he only sees you as a girlfriend to seek advice from about women, and that is his benefit. On the other hand, if you don't tell him how you feel, it will eat at you like an ulcer. But this isn't a scenario where you have nothing to lose, so you have to proceed with caution. Maybe bring it up in a joking way and judge his reaction. If all else fails, tell him to hook you up with one of his friends.
Love,
Brittney