Heard: random drunken statements (July 2011)


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Last month I started a series called “Heard” to record some of the best, most random, and usually
alcohol inspired, comments overheard at bars, clubs and parties.

Here are the most noteworthy statements overheard during the month of July.

Chilly Willy (to himself): “I’m gonna get my whole face tattooed. For free. I won’t have to pay anything, and that’s a God’s blessing.”

Woman at Snug Harbor (to a man who picked up a condom that fell from her purse and tried handing it
back to her): “Oh, no, I don’t want it now, it’s been compromised.”

Partygoer: “Penises are like little elephant trunks that just want to poke everything. They just poke


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