Live review: Moss and Liz's Wedding at the Milestone

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Moss and Liz's Wedding f. Felicia Castelow, Rape Whistle, Letdowns, All Rise, Fat Camp, For Disaster, Zeus and Twenty Eyes

The Milestone

March 19, 2011

The Deal: When I found out that the rowdy Moss of DSR and his lovely lady Liz were getting hitched at the Milestone, I was utterly stoked. I knew that an incredibly sick show was bound to be booked and the celebrations would be extravagant and to remember (if you were capable of doing so). Nonetheless, the progression of schedule began and before I knew it eight bands were on the bill: Felicia Castelow, Rape Whistle, Letdowns, All Rise, Fat Camp, For Disaster, Zeus and Twenty Eyes and a wedding ceremony at 1:30 am. There was no way that I would have even considered missing such an incredible night of punk rock love and jams.

The Good: Felicia Castelow set the mood for the night as she got on stage with her acoustic guitar, grabbed the mic and threatened to projectile vomit over everyone's heads if they didn't come in and watch her. As soon as she started strumming, opened her mouth and sang with her sweet voice, people came flocking in to see her play. I must say, I was rather impressed by her music. With the capability of singing in Japanese and English and having it flow off of her tongue just as beautiful as the other, she brought chills to the spine and a smile on everyone's face. She truly is like a punk rock Ani DiFranco.

Because there were so many bands, Rape Whistle took the stage directly after Felicia Castelow and began rocking out. Being true punk-rockers, their two band rules are to never practice and get drunk before every show. This certainly shined throughout their set, but they still kept the crowd going with their “I don't give a fuck” attitude. Raspy, grunty, pirate-punk vocals paired with bluegrassy punk rock instrumentals dominated the stage for the entirety of their presence.

Next up was Letdowns and as soon as they started playing, I knew I was in for some good ol' thrash. With deeply shrill metalish punk vocals and fast, repetitive guitar and bass with the backbone of knick knack drumming, they executed with classic punk style. Their music was catchy and filled with twisted, raw humor as they sang about switching out various safety weapons for silly string and other random replacements that got said victim raped. Yes, I know it's wrong, but if delivered in a joking manner to tunes, it is freaking hilarious. In the midst of the set, groom to be, Moss started a pit for a brief moment and began the rowdy to follow.

Before anyone could even process what had just happened, All Rise was playing and the people were into it. Their take on punk rock was a little sludgier, but still classic in many ways. While the guitar progression, vocals, back-up vocals and drums maintained the stereotype of what everyone would recognize as punk rock, their bassist brought the sludge. It was a nice and original combination that, to me, would be the cousin of the illegitimate child of Mudhoney and the Melvins. Their music made me want to vandalize something with spray paint and smash a mailbox. By the end of the set, the door was at capacity and the music room was packed and ready for more booze and music.

A complete change in genre, the next band was Fat Camp and boy did they take those that didn't know them by surprise. Their homosexual party rock is all-in-all hilarious and catchy and while some punk kids were getting down, some looked utterly confused as to what was happening in front of them. I was eating up every moment of it. Regardless, people filed in and out of the room to see what they were hearing and while Philip showed off his bass skills traveling in and out of the audience, Adam rocked out twisting his head to the music and Lee, in a sparkly shirt politely sang lewd songs about masturbation, banana hammocks and Batman's homosexuality while strumming away at his guitar and exercising his sweet tambourine skills (he gives lessons by the way). Towards the end of the set, people were grinning and shaking their hips. It was a nice breather between all of the rowdy punk, cock rock and hardcore of the night.

When For Disaster took the stage, everyone seemed to have enough booze in their system to get rowdy and the floor went from three-quarters packed to “whoa, where I am supposed to stand without getting hurt” packed. Their cock rock is like a local, new millennium Motley Crue with more talented musicians and funnier lyrics. Adam Lane's vocals lead you to believe that he is purposely trying to sound like Vince Neil and the instrumentals backed this up originally and perfectly. While the crowd got into a frenzy of beer chucking, body smashing goodness, the band fed off of it and showed off their skills. The paradigm was officially switched for the night and people were ready to get wild and celebrate.

Just in time to cease the brutal attitude that had begun, Zeus began with their sick, mathy and miraculous metal. Those that had left the room to visit the bar immediately packed themselves in the room to headbang and feel the brutality of sick breakdowns and genius metal-dies. Before I knew it, my head was swinging back and forth and everyone's hair was flying around as people uncontrollably felt the nastiness being projected from the stage. As if the music was not enough, their stage presence keeps the crowd going as Ricky pounds on his drums ferociously, Sam's long blonde hair flies like a squirrel caught in a fan and Adam curls his lip while they both violate their guitar, Deucy rocks his head back and forth and Brennon stands on the bass drum and climbs atop the monitors to scream in the audience's faces.

When Zeus finished, to our surprise, the old line-up of DSR had bombarded the stage and started playing an impromptu set. While short, they managed to squeeze in a bit of nostalgia for us all and got the crowd chaotic and spilling over the stage. Leaning over into the audience, Moss rowdy but sweetly serenaded his soon wife as the blue lights from above shined down upon them. By this point, the vast majority of the wedding guests were fall-down drunk and excited that shortly after this moment, rowdy Mr. Moss and beautiful Ms. Liz were to tie the knot.

Because DSR had cut into the schedule, 20 Eyes didn't really play a full set but what they did manage to show us was fantastic. It was the perfect pre-wedding cap. While I wouldn't necessarily call them hardcore, as the contemporary version examples have changed the genre completely, they certainly carry attributes of the classic, 1990s genre while putting their own mathematical spin on it all. They got everyone stoked and prepared to scream for the bride and groom as they would soon take their vows on that very stage.

At this point, everyone was flocking to the bar to get their pre-ceremony beverage (for the majority, shots of whiskey) as comedian, The Elder Statesman made his way to the stage to grab the mic and proceed with his one-of-a-kind nuptials. If you aren't familiar with this character, Elder has some of the most twisted stand-up with no limits. When I found out that he was marrying Moss and Liz I knew I was in for quite the untraditional ceremony wrapped in raunchy humor.

Elder Statesman got on stage and after explaining his and Moss' history called him to the stage and a swarm of people invaded the room. As the beautiful Liz made her way through the crowd towards her groom, everyone screamed so loud their voices must've been shot the next day. Beer showered the couple as Elder asked them both the question we were waiting for with a personal rowdy twist. As Moss shouted “I motherfucking do!” and Liz screamed “Fuck yeah” they both got pulled back into group hugs with those that had pushed their way on stage to witness this punk rock true love moment.

Words cannot do justice to the rowdiness of this event. See it for yourself below, though I must warn you, it is not for sensitive audiences.

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The Bad: Nothing whatsoever.

The Verdict: Moss and Liz are amazing people and what Sid and Nancy could've only strived to be if they were capable of keeping themselves under control and being responsible people. The bands were awesome and the atmosphere was great. This night was a true example of the love that radiates from our local scene. The Milestone was so packed and joyful, it was the best wedding I have ever been to in my life and I'm sure that it will never be topped. I recommend checking out all of these bands when they play shows. They are all local and regularly booked. If you can get down with rowdy, you can get down with any of them.


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