The MTV Video Music Awards show will air this Sunday night at 9 p.m. Remember when it was cool? I remember watching them — usually around the time when we'd go back to school — because you cared who won. You wanted to watch amazing performances. You could also expect to see a surprise or two, or even an off-the-wall collaboration.

I remember back when Tom Petty came out to sing with Guns N Roses. I remember Pee Wee Herman coming out to start the show after his arrest. I recall, unfortunately, Michael Jackson walking out to kiss Lisa Marie Presley. However, I can't say I remember much of anything about the last, oh, 10 years or so of VMAs.

So, what can we expect this year? Eminem is set to kick off the show. I'm sure Lady Gaga will wear at least two or three different and bizarre outfits and probably walk away as the night's big winner.

Outside of that, does MTV even play any videos anymore? They sure don't on MTV. They used to on MTV2, but that seems to have gone the way of reality TV, as well. I heard there's an MTV3 out there, but no one is watching.

You're probably wondering who's even nominated... So, here is a complete list (along with my comments):

BEST COLLABORATION

Airplanes, B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams

Video Phone (Extended Remix) Beyoncé featuring Lady Gaga

Telephone, Lady Gaga featuring Beyoncé

My First Kiss, 3OH!3 featuring Kesha

Empire State of Mind, Jay-Z & Alicia Keys

Will Beyonce with Lady Gaga win, or will Lady Gaga with Beyonce win?

BEST FEMALE VIDEO

Bad Romance, Lady Gaga

Tik Tok, Ke$ha

California Gurls, Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg

Video Phone (Extended Remix), Beyoncé featuring Lady Gaga

Fifteen, Taylor Swift

Again, do you think Lady Gaga is better than herself?

BEST MALE VIDEO

Not Afraid, Eminem

OMG, Usher featuring Will.I.Am

Airplanes, B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams

Find Your Love, Drake

In My Head, Jason Derulo

BEST HIP HOP VIDEO

Airplanes, B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams

Not Afraid, Eminem

Forever, Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem

On To The Next One, Jay-Z & Swizz Beats

Pursuit of Happiness, Kid Cudi featuring MGMT & Ratatat

I'm not sure if Eminem can beat Eminem, but he's gonna try.

BEST NEW ARTIST

Tik Tok,, Ke$ha

In My Head, Jason Derulo

Baby, Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris

Massive Attack, Nicki Minaj featuring Sean Garrett

The Ghost Inside, Broken Bells

Really? These are the best new artists from the last year?

BEST POP VIDEO

Bad Romance, Lady Gaga

California Gurls, Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dog

Tik Tok, Ke$ha

Video Phone (Extended Remix), Beyoncé featuring Lady Gaga

Nothing On You, B.o.B featuring Bruno Mars

BEST ROCK VIDEO

Kings and Queens, 30 Seconds To Mars

Uprising, Muse

Ignorance, Paramore

Dog Days Are Over, Florence + the Machine

Flash Delirium, MGMT

Oh, rock... where have you gone?!?

BEST DANCE MUSIC VIDEO

Bad Romance, Lady Gaga

I Like It, Enrique Iglesias featuring Pitbull

Evacuate the Dancefloor, Cascada

Sexy Chick, David Guetta featuring Akon

OMB, Usher featuring Will.I.Am

VIDEO OF THE YEAR

Bad Romance, Lady Gaga

Dog Days Are Over, Florence + The Machine

Kings and Queens, 30 Seconds To Mars

Telephone, Lady Gaga featuring Beyoncé

Not Afraid, Eminem

Airplanes, B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams

How many of these have you actually seen?

BREAKTHROUGH VIDEO

Symphonies, Dan Black

Stylo, Gorillaz featuring Bobby Womack & Mos Def

Strawberry Swing, Coldplay

Tighten Up, The Black Keys

In a way, I hope the Black Keys don't win so they don't have to be associated with this horrible mess of an awards show.