Idol thoughts - Week 1

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I've been doing it for so long that I thought I should post some quick comments about "America's Biggest Karaoke Contest" (American Idol) from last night.

First off, let me say that the funniest comment I've heard about the show came from Simon Cowell himself last night — "It's fine being artistic...just not on this show."

Also, if you haven't heard, the reason for giving a different number for the 13th contestant is because 866-IDOLS13 is a phone sex line. Nice...

I've noticed a lot of the singers fall into one of three categories — the bland/boring, the screamers/over-singers and the mini-celebrities. The only one that seems to have enough originality and quirkiness, Megan Joy Corkery, probably won't last very long... more on that as I comment on each singer.

I haven't started nicknames for the contestants yet, but you know they're coming. Stay tuned.

Here are my thoughts:

Lil Rounds — Lil falls into the over-singer category. I wonder if she'll get as much backlash as Sarah Palin — "Why is she out at a karaoke contest when she has three kids at home?" Either way, I liked her better a few season ago when her name was Fantasia.

Scott MacIntyre — No matter what he does, people will think of him as "that blind guy." He's a good pianist/singer, and it made me wonder - why do most visually impaired people always wind up at the piano? I guess it's safe to be sitting down? Let's be honest — the only thing more awkward than Ryan Seacrest trying to give him a high-five is how they're going to work him into the song and dance routines.

Danny Gokey — They had it right last night when they said he sounds like Michael McDonald. I kept thinking, "Which Doobie you be?" He'll be around for a while. People will remember that he lost his wife — Idol sure keeps reminding viewers of that, don't they?

Michael Sarver — Maybe he wanted to show the softer side of the roughneck? I'm not sure, but it was a boring song choice and I wouldn't be surprised if he's one of the two booted tonight.

Jasmine Murray — She falls into the over-singer category, too, but damn, the girl is only 16 and can sing. Someone just needs to tell her (and Jennifer Hudson, too) to ease up a bit, there's a microphone in her hand.

Kris Allen — Hey everybody, it's John Mayer Jr.! The acoustic guitar was an odd pairing... I guess he just wanted to show people he can play?

Allison Iraheta — Hey everybody, it's Pink Jr.! She fell into the boring and forgettable category. Wouldn't be surprised if she was given the boot this week, too.

Anoop Desai — Anoop Doggy Dogg hit the stage and I thought, "Is that a Members Only jacket?" He played it safe and is banking on his smooth style to get him through for a while.

Jorge Nunez — Nice job, Mr. Iglesias. I thought his song sounded dated. Stick him in the boring category.

Megan Joy Corkrey — She's got style and quirkiness and a helluva lot of originality. The problem is that her dancing reminds people of Elaine on Seinfeld. And what was the "Caw! Caw!" at the end of the song.

Adam Lambert— The caked-on makeup and scandalous man-love photos won't hold him back. This season's "Mayor of Creepy Town" has the judges in his pocket. To me - his high-toned over-singing sounds like nails on a chalkboard and he definitely gets screechy at times. I can picture him on Broadway more than fronting a rock band. I still don't forgive him for trashing that Rolling Stones song, either.

Matt Giraud — He's the guy from the piano bar that reminds me of a cross between Justin Timberlake and Chris Penn in Footloose. He'll be around for a while, too.

Alexis Grace — Hey everybody, it's Gwen Stefani Jr. She's at a disadvantage in week one because of the different phone number. IDOLS-36? Most people won't notice it and if she gets booted, that's the reason why.

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