Tales of puppet porn...

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Avenue Q is not just full puppet nudity and puppet porn, it’s a life lesson brought to us by puppets. Remember when we learned everything we needed to know in life from Sesame Street? Well, Avenue Q is an R-rated Sesame Street meets Rent. R for Reality. This play was so inspirational and educational, the teacher in me feels inclined to share the lessons learned delivered in lyrics and lines. It felt a little odd taking life lessons from puppets, but hey, some of them made some good points.

a) Everyone has a PURPOSE – it’s usually a quest for something (knowledge, family, money, power) and it’s that light that ignites the fire under your ass

b) It sucks to be Gary Coleman (although the actress that plays him, Danielle Thomas, is quite pretty)

c) If you rearrange unemployed it spells opportunity

d) Everyone is a “little bit racist,” meaning that everyone passes judgment and if we all admitted it it would help us get along better

e) The internet is for porn.

f) Peer pressure comes in the form of cute, cuddly little bears - “bad idea bears”

g) According to the puppet porn, when having sex, you can be as loud as you want

h) Purpose doesn’t spell propose

i) There’s a fine line between love and a waste of time. You need to go after what you want while you’re still in your prime

j) There is life outside of your apartment

k) SCHADENFREUDE (shad’ n froi da) is happiness at the expense of others – we all derive pleasure of someone else’s pain

l) You can’t stop growing up – even though everyone wants to go back to college

m) Helping others is actually helping yourself

n) The only stable investment you can make these days is porn

o) You live only for the NOW

I took this as Eckhart Tolle’s “Power of Now,” but they were making the point that things are only temporary. For example they sang “George Bush, is only for now,” and the entire audience broke out into applause.

What I got out of it is that my B.S. (Bachelor of Science) is in fact BS. I moved to N.Y.C. right after college and lived in the East Village, which isn’t exactly Avenue Q, but I was just as purpose poor. I quit my job working for MAXIM to become a NYC Teaching Fellow. I figured I had more PURPOSE in life than to help awkward teenage boys get through their adolescent years.

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After the show, I went to the cast party at Café Sienna… as in the Holiday Inn bar. There I got to meet actress Angela Ai, who plays Christmas Eve, whom I learned was also in an episode of Sex and the City. I also met some of the band members who shared tales of several cities, including the cities for which they’re from and cities for which they’ve performed in….including Greenville. Apparently, they had a horrible audience in our Carolina cousin the previous night that didn’t appreciate the liberal lesson in life. While Avenue Q got a standing ovation here, they didn’t even get so much as an applause after certain sets.

But the cast of Avenue Q is just as fabulous and fun off stage….. we’re all actually going to go White Water Rafting at the Whitewater Center on Friday if anyone wants to go.

Avenue Q will be taking residence at the Blumenthal Performing Arts Center’s Belk Theater until July 27. And surprisingly, tickets are still available.

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