by Jeff Hahne
America's largest karaoke contest had the top 9 singers perform songs by Dolly Parton last night... yippee...
It could have been worse, though. They could have done Michael Bolton. Anyway, here are my thoughts on last night's contestants:
White Bread — She went with a safe song choice tonight and should have no trouble cruising into the next round. Good, but not "wow."
Sir Creeps A Lot — David got a haircut, which demotes him from being the "Mayor" of Creepy Town to just a "Sheriff." Either way, I'm scared. I wonder how he gets his voice so high for the falsetto... I'm guessing tight pants. I didn't like the song and still have no idea why people like him. How can he be a rocker when he looks so damn emo?
Ramen Noodle — It's the first good week she's had...ever. Probably too little, too late. Like the noodle, it was just bland.
Knotty Dread — Too funny that they had a green background while he was singing in his Jack-Johnson-esque style. Who's got the munchies?!
Ego Trip — Someone go out and buy this girl a shirt with sleeves already! Nice to see her husband, tattoo face, in the crowd. She really doesn't take criticism too well.
Boy Wonder — Good vocal. He sure does get "squinty" when he sings. Is it bright lights, or has he been hanging around Jason Castro too much?
Country See, Country Do — The country bumpkin was out barefoot. I wasn't impressed with her song, or her dress. Say hello to the bottom two again...I'm sure you've missed each other.
Whitney-me — She's not quite Whitney Houston's Mini-Me, but she's trying. Powerful vocals - I'm not sure why the judges didn't like her. Maybe she's not yet Whitney cause she hasn't been around crack long enough.
Aussie Invasion — Really?!? A neckerchief?!? Bad song choice with good vocals. Wouldn't surprise me if he's in the bottom three.
Ready for the boot: Country See, Country Do, Ramen Noodle and I could only hope for Ego Trip or Sir Creeps A Lot.