Huge news: Cannon realizes a life goal!!

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Congratulations to mayor-elect Patrick Cannon, who defeated his GOP opponent Ed Peacock in yesterday's voting. Right off the bat during his victory speech, Cannon, ever a ball of energy, grabbed the world by the lapels and told everyone why winning the mayor's race was so important. It wasn't "Now we can begin to really move this city forward!" nor was it, "Together, we can make my bold vision for Charlotte a reality!" nor even "I think we need more diverse food wagons." No, electing Patrick Cannon as Charlotte's mayor is a huge, huge deal because, as the man himself explained it, "I am realizing a life goal."

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Yes! That, ladies and gentlemen, is why thousands of people took time out of their busy lives to go to the polls: to make sure that a career politician could realize one of his life goals. Don't know about you, but I'm so inspired and hopeful at this moment, I'm having to wipe away the tears.

So why, exactly, was being mayor one of Cannon's life goals? He didn't specify during his speech, but after basking in the poetry of Cannon's campaign rhetoric, and practically having to wear shades while taking in the bright, sweeping visions of city life he painted during his battle with Peacock, I feel I have some idea of the kinds of things he meant. And here they are:

I am realizing a life goal of being in a position to seriously expand my parking lot business with new and bigger city government-connected contracts.

I am realizing a life goal of being introduced at my victory celebration by the city's first African-American mayor Harvey Gantt, even though he was so appalled by the prospect of my becoming mayor that he broke his own precedent to endorse my primary opponent.

I am realizing a life goal even though I found it impossible to give interviews to the press without having an adviser nearby to hand me papers explaining my positions.

So, again, congrats, Mr. Soon-To-Be-Mayor. We'll be keeping an eye on you.

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