An open letter to Suzanne Venker




I can't even begin to describe the ways in which your opinions ruffled my lady feathers and pushed the red disaster buttons deep within my core. You offend me, as both a woman and a human being. You argue the responsibility for the ongoing "battle" between the sexes lies solely with women. Women, more specifically feminists, are responsible for any tensions that exist between the genders. You argue feminism has forced women to deny their apt nature of being protected and provided for, and now men don't want to marry us and are unmotivated to fulfill the aforementioned duties. As a direct result of the sexual revolution and widespread feminism, men are not threatened but "pissed off" and are beginning to withhold their coveted provider/protector skills from women. Women are ultimately hurting ourselves by pursuing things like careers and equality, because the pursuit of feminist ideals are making men pouty and inert to put a ring on it.


Did I touch on all the meaty parts?

I think I speak for many feminists and women when I say that I'm not angry at men. I'm not angry with anyone, save for maybe you. I'm simply vocal and want to encourage what is right and what is fair for more than half of the world's population. Men aren't holding us back, per se. Deeply rooted cultural archetypes are the problem. The historical female is either a temptress or a muse, rarely a heroine. Biblically, women are morally inferior and weak. Archaic paradigms tell us that women support rather than lead. We nurture innovators rather than innovating. That's why your message is all the more unethical.

But society is evolving. In 1900, less than 20 percent of the female population was in the workforce. It's now 75 percent - and growing. Women comprise 46 percent of the U.S. labor force and own approximately 9.1 million businesses - about 40 percent of total businesses - in the United States.

You see, today's woman is redefining her role and relationships and serving as an example for her children. This modern woman gives her all at work and at home. She doesn't want the pedestal. She isn't entitled - she just wants what she deserves. She will "take to the streets" wherever and whenever it's necessary. She doesn't "browbeat," she educates. She's never intimidated by competition, and she loses gracefully. She embraces her sexuality and explores it in healthy ways that suit her needs. She is Bill Gates and Betty Crocker, or neither if she chooses. She's helping to run the world and advocating for genuine peace while you prescribe blame, belittle your own gender, and write books called "How to Choose a Husband (And Make Peace with Marriage)."

So really, Suzanne, you are the problem. Not men or women in general, just you and people like you, who accept and argue in favor of outdated social norms that exclude, estrange and impede headway. Shame on you for implying that a woman is obligated to manage a man's alleged fragile sense of self and adhere to antiquated stereotypes in order to be a real woman. That's an affront to both sexes.