Charlotte state Rep. Fred Alexander is co-sponsoring a bill that nearly made me lose my breakfast when I first heard of it. Alexander, a Democrat and funeral director, co-sponsored House bill 664, which I’m calling the Vulture-Enabling Sales-Booster Act, along with fellow funeral home director Rep. Jamie Boles, a Republican from Southern Pines.

The bill, which passed the House Wednesday and now heads to the Senate, would allow funeral home directors or employees speedy access to — get this — the details of the deceased’s life insurance policy. Life insurance benefits are often the main source of financing for many people’s funeral costs, and this bill would make it easier for funeral homes to determine just how much is in the kitty, so to speak, before cranking up the casket and vault sales pitches. I mean, you want to be prepared when hustling the grieving family, right? The bill directs life insurance companies to tell funeral homes, upon request:

(1) The existence of any contract insuring the life of the deceased person.

(2)  Any beneficiaries on record under any life insurance contract insuring the life of the deceased person.

(3)  The amount of any liens or loans outstanding on the policy.

(4)  The amount of benefits payable to the beneficiaries.

(5)  Whether the policy has been reinstated within the last 24 months.

Just because there's a holiday coming up, that doesn’t mean our fine public servants can’t find ways to use their elected office to make their real jobs more profitable. Sorry, I have to end this now, I think I’m going to be sick again.

• Coincidentally, one of my favorite CDs of 2009.