by John Grooms
Friday is time for the Stupid Thing of the Week Award, but we got to thinking: There are different kinds of stupid. Some things are stupid and dangerous namely, some of the Tea Party candidates for various national offices, like the Alabama guy whose commercials as much as incite people to violently overthrow the government. Or Sharron Angle, running for Harry Reids Senate seat, who thinks women who are raped shouldnt be able to get an abortion because theyd be working against Gods plan. Those people are stupid and dangerous.
Then, theres stupid and kind of goofy, which is waaayyy preferable to the dangerously stupid stuff. Thats why were giving the weekly award to South Carolinas Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Alvin Greene, who this week came up with a, um, unique idea for creating jobs in his state: action figures of himself. Greene expanded on the idea in an interview with a British journalist from the UK Guardian: Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That's something that would create jobs, Greene explained. He didnt need to say it, but Greene then added, It's not something a typical person would bring up. Which, you have to admit, is very true.
I think Greenes action figure idea would work. In fact, I think South Carolinas economy could soon start rocking again if hed take the action in action figure seriously and, say, pit himself against some of his states other embarrassments. Picture an Alvin Terminator Greene doll, firing away at a Mark Sanford figure ("with special hiking action); Marko the Latin Lover wouldnt stand a chance. Or maybe an Alvin Scissorhands Greene, slicing up a figure of state lawmaker Jake We dont need another rag head Knotts like so much bacon. Or, for the less violently inclined, Alvin Close Shave Greene, pinning his November opponent, Sen. Jim DeMint, into a barbers chair and forcefully rinsing the bad dye job out of the senators hair. The possibilities are endless, as apparently are the out of the box ideas in Greenes head. Greene is a very unconventional candidate, and yes, his action figure idea is stupid. But at least its only stupid, not stupid and dangerous.