Rush + Elton = WTF?!

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So Rush Limbaugh, the big defender of the sanctity of straight marriage, got married for the fourth time, and paid Elton John, who is an openly gay man in a civil partnership, a million bucks to sing for the wedding celebration Saturday night (no word on whether EJ sang “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting”). Rush even requested two of his favorites by the singer: "Can You Feel The Lard Tonight?" and "Don't Let My 'Script Run Out On Me." Just kidding.

Both men, of course, have every right to do what they did, so that’s not the question. The questions are: 1. Does consistency of one’s beliefs and actions count for anything anymore? And, 2. Do either of these guys live in anything resembling the real world? The answer is pretty obviously “No.” Limbaugh (who used to slam drug users on the air while wolfing down OxyContins by the handful) virulently opposes gay rights, yet doesn’t see a disconnect in getting a blatantly gay singer to perform for his wedding celebration. Elton John, well, vice versa.

So how do you satirize something so inherently goofy and culturally bizarre? The folks at gawker.com did a good job, coming up with an airplane banner contest. They asked fans of their site to come up with a congratulatory greeting for a fly-over banner at the wedding site. The one Gawker finally picked — and flew over the scene of the celebration — was “RUSH: CONGRATS ON YOUR 4th MARRIAGE.  XO, GAWKER.” Biting, but pretty tame, actually. Among the slogans that weren’t picked were:

THIS TIME HE REALLY MEANS IT

OXYCONGRATULATIONS

MANY HAPPY RETURNS (TO THE ALTAR)

GET 20% OFF YOUR NEXT MARRIAGE + FREE SHRIMP

MAY ALLAH BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE

KIDS EAT FREE AT RUSH'S WEDDING BELOW

PRESCRIBING YOU MANY HAPPY YEARS TOGETHER

CONGRATS ON #4 FROM THOSE OF US WHO CAN'T HAVE 1

VIAGRA FOR HIM, DRAMAMINE FOR HER

THE COUPLE IS REGISTERED AT RITE-AID

BUY THREE WEDDINGS, GET ONE FREE

Who said the world's become too weird for satire?

Gawker blesses Rush's fourth "till death do us part" thang
  • Gawker blesses Rush's fourth "till death do us part" thang

Elton John: Available for multi-millionaires' weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs
  • Elton John: Available for multi-millionaires' weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs

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