by John Grooms
So Rush Limbaugh, the big defender of the sanctity of straight marriage, got married for the fourth time, and paid Elton John, who is an openly gay man in a civil partnership, a million bucks to sing for the wedding celebration Saturday night (no word on whether EJ sang Saturday Nights Alright For Fighting). Rush even requested two of his favorites by the singer: "Can You Feel The Lard Tonight?" and "Don't Let My 'Script Run Out On Me." Just kidding.
Both men, of course, have every right to do what they did, so thats not the question. The questions are: 1. Does consistency of ones beliefs and actions count for anything anymore? And, 2. Do either of these guys live in anything resembling the real world? The answer is pretty obviously No. Limbaugh (who used to slam drug users on the air while wolfing down OxyContins by the handful) virulently opposes gay rights, yet doesnt see a disconnect in getting a blatantly gay singer to perform for his wedding celebration. Elton John, well, vice versa.
So how do you satirize something so inherently goofy and culturally bizarre? The folks at gawker.com did a good job, coming up with an airplane banner contest. They asked fans of their site to come up with a congratulatory greeting for a fly-over banner at the wedding site. The one Gawker finally picked and flew over the scene of the celebration was RUSH: CONGRATS ON YOUR 4th MARRIAGE. XO, GAWKER. Biting, but pretty tame, actually. Among the slogans that werent picked were:
THIS TIME HE REALLY MEANS IT
MANY HAPPY RETURNS (TO THE ALTAR)
GET 20% OFF YOUR NEXT MARRIAGE + FREE SHRIMP
MAY ALLAH BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE
KIDS EAT FREE AT RUSH'S WEDDING BELOW
PRESCRIBING YOU MANY HAPPY YEARS TOGETHER
CONGRATS ON #4 FROM THOSE OF US WHO CAN'T HAVE 1
VIAGRA FOR HIM, DRAMAMINE FOR HER
THE COUPLE IS REGISTERED AT RITE-AID
BUY THREE WEDDINGS, GET ONE FREE
Who said the world's become too weird for satire?