As thrilling as ever, primary elections roared through the state yesterday, sweeping all other news stories aside, as everyone waited breathlessly to see which inspiring politicians would survive this year’s first electoral round. Wait a minute ... Y-a-a-a-w-w-w-n-n-n.  Gosh, excuse me, don't know what happened there. Anyway, back to the primaries. Elaine Marshall may have gotten all the votes she’s gonna get, as she finished first in the Democratic U.S. Senate primary with 36 percent of the vote, and now heads to a runoff with Cal Cunningham; the winner will face Sen. Richard "BlueCross” Burr. Locally, former sheriff Jim Pendergraph — who made a name for himself by helping the feds deport illegal immigrants — finished in first place (surprise!) among GOP at-large county commission contenders. Pendergraph told supporters he was “grateful that now I won’t have to move to Arizona to win elected office.” Just kidding, he didn’t really say that. Meanwhile, N.C. House member Nick Mackey, who has become as popular in our region as a recurring case of head lice, was trounced by his primary opponent Rodney Moore. And in the most entertaining area race, mind-blowing head case Tim “Machine Guns for God” D’Annunzio and former sportscaster Harold “And you thought I was crazy” Johnson  will meet in a runoff for the 8^th Congressional District GOP nomination.

Sen. Richard Burr provided yesterday’s “What did you expect?” moment, as reported by Raleigh's News & Observer. Burr’s victory statement warned his supporters that “… special interests have already committed to pouring millions of dollars into our state to influence voters and defeat me.” And where was Burr when he issued that statement? Not in North Carolina, but in Washington, where he was attending a campaign fundraiser where, according to the N&O, he was urging his own special interest contributors to max out their donations before the official end of the primary season. And the big wheels of politics keep on turning.

• Congressional candidate Harold "MC Harold" Johnson