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By Ralph Cerves

First, I'd like to thank Creative Loafing for giving me the opportunity to write on their blog as a guest contributor. (Even though they said they'd be calling me a fanboy in the headline. I'm definitely NOT.) I certainly have the experience to be doing this. I've seen TONS of movies, and I post all over the Internet on sites like IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes. Anyway, here's what I think about the films competing for Oscars this year.

BEST PICTURE

Avatar - The best movie I have ever seen. Yes, it's even better than Lord of the Rings. Really! It's like porn for real moviegoers.

The Blind Side - I didn't think I'd like this because it looked like a chick flick, but it's actually pretty good. And there's some football in it, so guys won't get bored.

District 9 - This was a cool movie. I think people read too much into it, though. How could it be political? It's about aliens from outer space!

An Education - Didn't see it. Looks like a total chick flick.

The Hurt Locker - Didn't see it, but I want to. I like war movies, although this one sounds a bit too serious.

Inglourious Basterds - QUENTIN TARANTINO IS GOD! Great movie, but too long.

Precious - Didn't see it. Sounds depressing.

A Serious Man - Never even heard of this one. So obviously I didn't see it!

Up - A funny movie, but it's only a cartoon.

Up in the Air - Didn't see it. Heard it was good, but I don't think it's for me. It looks like it's more for older people. (I'm only 20.)

So I think Avatar will the Oscar. It better!

BEST ACTOR

I'm embarrassed to say I haven't seen any of these performances. But I loved Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption, so I hope he gets it for Invictus. But from what my friends tell me, George Clooney will win for Up in the Air. That's cool. He's great in those Ocean movies, but no more Batmans, please!

BEST ACTRESS

I only saw Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side, but I can't imagine Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren or these actresses I never even heard of being better than her. So go, Sandra! (Although I wish Megan Fox was up for Transformers. LOL! She’s Hawt!!)

• Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

I loved Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, but he's nominated for something called The Messenger (never heard of it). And Matt Damon rocks in those Jason Bourne movies, but, again, I didn't see Invictus. But I loved Christopher [sic] Waltz in Inglorious Basterds. He played the Nazi and was even cooler than Brad Pitt! So I hope he wins.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Haven't seen any of these movies, but I hear Mo'Nique is really good in Precious, since she's really a comedian but is playing a serious role as a child molester. As long as that girl from those awful Twilight movies [Up in the Air's Anna Kendrick] doesn't win!

BEST DIRECTOR

Can they give it to both James Cameron for Avatar and Quentin Tarantino for Inglourious Basterds? They both should win! I'll go out on a limb and predict a tie.

So there you have it, people. Now let's see how I do on Oscar night [March 7]!