It appears that some conservative Christians have gone completely off the rails — unless there’s some hidden connection between “Christians” and “killing sick people.” The government of Uganda is considering legislation — unfortunately, no we’re not making this up — to execute HIV positive men. Execute, as in “put to death.” In addition, the law, if enacted, would also imprison for three years anyone who knows a gay man but doesn’t report him to authorities; and would sentence anyone who publicly defends gay and lesbian rights to seven years in prison. The U.S. embassy in Uganda has condemned the bill, but the legislation is heavily supported by Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni, who pretty much gets what he wants.

Here’s where so-called Christians come in. Museveni is a longtime favorite of “The Family,” the secretive band of fundamentalist Christian Congressmen that was in the news for being a “source of strength and understanding” for South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, as well as Sen. David Ensign of Nevada. Ensign cheated on his wife with a staffer, at which point The Family “ordered” him to call his mistress and call off the affair, and to pay her money for “healing” (or what you and I call “hush money”). Rep. Heath Shuler (D-NC) is also affiliated with The Family.

The Family has long supported Museveni, and in fact, the Ugandan legislator who introduced the bill to execute HIV positive men is David Bahati, who organizes The Family’s Ugandan National Prayer Breakfast. According to Jeff Sharlet, author of the investigative book The Family, Bahati also “oversees an African sort of student leadership program designed to create future leaders for Africa, into which The Family has poured millions of dollars.” Hear Sharlet talk to NPR’s Terry Gross about The Family here.

Other American “Christians” also support the Ugandan death law, or at the very least refuse to condemn it. Yesterday, on Meet The Press, Rev. Rick Warren, of “Purpose-driven life” and “Obama inauguration preacher” fame, refused to condemn the proposed law, saying, “As a pastor, my job is to encourage, to support. I never take sides," although he quickly took sides in the abortion debate, calling abortion “a holocaust.” Once again, this writer is left nearly speechless by these rightwing “Christians” and their twisted, hateful views.

It’s the issue that won’t go away: bonuses for local government bigshots. Now, Mayor-elect Foxx says he’d like for City Council to start talking about whether they’ll give bonuses next  year to the city manager and city attorney. Which leads us to what may seem like a tangent, but actually gets to the heart of the issue: confusing language. The problem is the word “bonus” itself, which has nearly become a swear word these days, due to corporate crooks receiving giant bonuses for ripping off the public.

As explained by the city's human resources director, Tim Mayes, in an e-mail to the Observer, “council members and the city manager and city attorney have had an informal agreement that the bonus payments are a 'standard part' of their compensation package.”

Most people, though, don’t think of bonuses that way; they think of them, well, correctly. Case in point, here is Webster’s definition of the word “bonus”: something in addition to what is expected or strictly due, such as: money or an equivalent given in addition to an employee's usual compensation.

Not to belabor the obvious here, but if a “bonus” is a “standard part” of what you are paid, then it isn’t a bonus. It’s salary. A good first step toward clearing things up would be for local government to start calling salaries “salaries,” plain and simple, rather than continuing the use of an additional, phantom “bonus” category that is actually considered a standard part of some employees' pay. That way, Walton and McCarley could continue to get what the city agreed to pay them in the “informal agreement,” and the nasty word “bonus” wouldn’t get everyone riled up. As an added benefit, of course, the city would be sticking to standard English definitions of words — always a plus when trying to make sense. As it now stands, the way the city (and county, for that matter) tally up compensation for their managers makes as much common sense as the “double secret probations” in Animal House.

• Noah Webster: show some respect

We’ve got two Stupid Things of the Week in one for you today. Think of it as a complement to those two-for-one holiday sales deals you’ll be seeing a lot of this weekend.

First up is former Bush spokesperson Dana “I don’t know what the Cuban missile crisis was” Perino. On FoxNews the other day, Perino was talking with Sean Hannity, complaining that nobody is calling the Ft. Hood massacre a “terrorist attack.” She said she thinks it’s because the Obama people don’t want to look bad, because – ready? – “we did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush’s term.” She’s referring, of course, to Pres. George W. “9/11 attack on my watch despite having been warned in advance” Bush. Yes, that’s right, no terrorist attacks during Bush’s term – except for the most deadly terrorist attack in American history. Is anyone else getting tired of seeing blithering idiots in positions that used to be filled by well-informed grown-ups?

And speaking of blithering, the Great Unstable One, Glenn Beck, was at it again. First of all, remember that Beck was one of the commentators who said Newsweek’s running-shorts cover photo of Sarah Palin was sexist (a sentiment we basically agreed with). After that incident, La Palin was joking around about potential running mates and said that Glenn Beck might be a good running mate for her. Right after Palin’s comment, Beck told listeners of his radio show that he wouldn’t take the number two job behind the former Alaska governor: "Beck-Palin, I’ll consider. But Palin-Beck — can you imagine, what an administration with the two of us would be like? . . . She’d be yapping or something, and I’d say, “I’m sorry, why am I hearing your voice? I’m not in the kitchen.” And yes, this is still the 21^st century despite neanderthal humor like that.

• Glenn Beck's not too feeling too good about running with a woman