In this new daily series, writer Cheris Hodges watches an ass-load of local and national TV morning shows and reports on the resulting crap.

Fox News Rising anchors Mark Mathis and Anna creep me out with their fist bumps early in the morning. I bet they don't like each other off screen.

Harbor Baptist Church is mad this morning because the zoning board approved a halfway house to be built near the church. Come on?! What would Jesus do?

With today being a slower news day, there are extra long weather reports. It's rainy and foggy. It's not getting better.

WSOC-TV is still boring, but it was pretty funny that police and emergency crews were racing up and down I-85 looking for an accident.

In today's grossest story, a 62-year old man is facing 200 sex charges for touching and molesting little girls. I guess he was too cheap for Hush Hush or a crack whore.

CATS ridership is up. Interesting.

MSNBC Morning Joe says that people aren't willing to take $5,000 for the landing on the Hudson River. And guess what? It's a Charlotte salesman who said, "I don't know how much it's going to cost for my emotional distress."

Great job, greedy people. MSNBC anchor says everyone give him the finger.

"You should be dead," he railed. Ouch.

On CNN, Citibank has finally done the right thing with our money and didn't buy a private jet. Great, but can we — the broke workers — get the change from that?

Back to WSOC, a local library system throws the book at a teen for late fees. The thing is, the books were his mother's who died in a car accident. Nice, Randolph County Library System. They canceled the fines ... heartless bastards.

A security officer used a TASER on a burglary suspect at an apartment complex on Central Avenue. What is he? A future CMPD officer?

A man wanted in South Carolina and North Carolina for shooting, robbing and a host of other crimes was caught in downtown Atlanta yesterday. If you're going to run, go west!

Fox News Rising, it's coming up on 6:30 a.m. and we said something good about Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools. That's just mean and funny.

The make-up snow day for CMS, according to FNR, is Feb. 16. That sucks, considering a lot of kids were in D.C. that day anyway, and there wasn't a snow day used last year.

The Today Show is focusing on America on Ice and the octuplets born in California.

Ice is moving though the South and East, but Charlotte is lucky. We've been spared. Kentucky, not so much. Ice-covered trees are falling and cars are sliding across the roads. But Al Roker said Charlotte is fine. The storm is moving north. (He didn't actually say "Charlotte," but you get it.)

On Good Morning America, a 93-year-old man froze to death because the power company installed a limiting device on his meter. No one knows if he knew how to reset it or knew if it was installed. The Bay City, Mich., man was behind on his bill. Neighbors are pissed. With the temperatures dropping below zero, the man was found on the floor wrapped in blankets and wearing four layers of clothes. There were ice crystals on his kitchen sink. Very sad.

GMA is depressing. Now they're talking about a murder/suicide in L.A. A father killed his five kids, his wife and himself after he and his wife lost their jobs. I'm changing the channel.

The Early Show says Starbucks will no longer brew decaf in the afternoon. Why brew it at all?

Jessica Simpson is in the news. (It really must be a slow news day.) Her pictures at a chili-cooking contest sparked much debate on the Internet. Now, for whatever reason it's on TV. Shoot me now.

Though SportsCenter isn't morning news, file this under WTF:

The Charlotte Bobcats beat the Los Angeles Lakers in double overtime, in L.A.

They're going to win the Super . . .oops, wrong sport.

HLN is questioning how government regulators at the SEC missed a $50 billion ponzi scheme. I'm wondering that, too. Now there is a rash of Mini Madoffs who are getting caught because the market is failing. Jimmy Buffett says: "You never know who's swimming naked until the tide comes in."

On the Today show, the hosts are having a snowball fight and Al Roker hit Merideth pretty hard, but as he tried to deliver the weather, he was pounded off-camera with snow balls. Grow up people! LOL.

Mr. Mom is coming up in the final hour of the Today show, I think I'm going to stick around and watch.

Mr. Mom deals with fathers who are out of work and are now stay-at-home dads. Spencer, the focus of the story, was a Lehman Brothers broker. His wife found a job after his layoff and he didn't. But NBC's decision to play the Notorious B.I.G.'s "Big Poppa" in the report was a bit much.