Last night, after the smoke had cleared from the neighborhood bonfire celebrating Pat McCrory's promise not to run for mayor again, a guy who lives down the street said, "Wait a minute did you guys notice something weird about the Fratboy-in-Chief's announcement? He said his soul told him it was time to move on. His soul!"
The rest of us stopped in our tracks and looked at each other, stunned. "His soul?" asked the woman across the street, scrunching up her face. "Damn, who knew he had one?" I added.
Like much of the city, we were shocked that the be-suited corporate automaton was claiming to have an actual soul. Don't worry, though, it turns out the whole thing was all a PR move. A reliable source, Jimmy High, told us that later today, Mayor Haircut will announce the upcoming release of his new music CD, "Hidden Soul," which will include "reworked" cover versions by McCrory (recording under the name MC PinchFace) of various soul music classics. We've learned that two of the cuts will be remade versions of Otis Redding songs: "Try A Little Tameness" and "Sitting On Duke Energy's Board." More
details when we know about them.