What the right-wingers are watching

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Bill Wolfrum over at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles is taking one for the team and live-blogging Fox News election coverage all day. Poor guy. Let's hope he maintains his sanity! Here's a sample of the topics from everyone's favorite "fair and balanced" outlet:

11:49 a.m.: Coming up next: The youth vote - sure lots have registered, but young people are idiots and won’t vote so who cares?

11:53 a.m.: The Dow Jones is up 303 points. Blame Obama.

11:55 a.m.: Will the young voters show up? If they do, says young Republican, they have a choice - vote for the 72-year-old that’s been a senator for longer than you’ve been alive and can’t use the Internet, or vote for Obama who will raise taxes on you if you ever make any money.

12:00 p.m.: Britt Hume!!!

12:01 p.m.: VOTER FRAUD!!!

12:02 p.m.: Hume: “If it’s a close race, people will be very interested in recounts and investigations.” Britt Hume - a man who slept through the 2000 and 2004 elections.

12:03 p.m.: Britt Hume is concerned about the ramifications of calling an election too early. Seriously.

12:06 p.m.: Black Panthers in Pennsylvania!!! They are intimidating white voters says one white guy! One Black Panther with a nightstick said “The black guy will win no matter what!”

12:10 p.m.: Trouble with power outages in Los Angeles. Obama’s margin of victory could be cut to just 20 points.

12:15 p.m.: Starbucks, Krispy Kreme and others are giving away free stuff if you vote. Obviously they are preparing for the new socialist regime.

12:19 p.m.: Long lines disappearing around the nation. Reasons: Early voting. And some people may be having lunch.

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