Today's featured story on Cracked.com is titled, "6 E-mails You Get When Your Company Is About To Go Under."
Seems like Charlotte should pay close attention.
The Email You'll Get:
"I hope you'll all welcome Jennie Thurber. She's visiting to take a look around for us and offer some perspective to management. Give her any help you can. Thanks!"
What's Actually Going On:
Just as a dead body attracts flies, a dying company collects "off-site visitors" in the form of lawyers, accountants, and auditors. Jennie isn't here to offer feedback on the company's process. She's there to count the computers and furniture for when they're auctioned off to cover DoomedCorp's crushing burden of debt. Hey, tell them about all that valuable porn you've got on the hard drive! They can surely get something out of that.