By Oprah Winfrey

To all you people who are lighting up the message boards criticizing me for not having Sarah Palin on my show after I endorsed Obama, I have three words: White Woman's Disease.

I've taken the time to examine the basketball skills of the two presidential candidates, and let me tell you, there is no comparison.

Sarah Palin was known as "Sarah Barracuda" when she played high school basketball in what--Wasilla, Alaska? I'm sorry, it's not exactly a hoops hotbed.

Barack Obama has the skills needed to lead this country in the 21st century. Low body fat percentage, low turnover-to-assist ratio, and an incredible 35-inch vertical leap! We're talking a lottery pick, folks!

Palin, on the other hand, has Thunder Thighs, a tendency to turn the ball over in traffic, and--are you ready for this--an 11 inch vertical leap.

A classic case of White Woman's Disease. Sarah Palin couldn't dunk the ball if you gave her a stepladder. Maybe if you she was driving on one of those table-top Playskool Shoot 'n Score hoops, but not on the South Side of Chicago. Unh-uh.

It's not that I'm using my show to push a political agenda. I'm just trying to make sure the USA remains the #1 street-ball nation on earth.

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