Bruton deserves the best

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Bruton Smith, the speedway and "upscale dragstrip" owner, is pissed that the $80-million incentives deal he squeezed from Concord and Cabarrus County will take 40 years to complete. No friggin' way, says Brute — he wants it all in three years — and interest payments if he doesn't get his dough on (his) time. Since the wise leaders of Cabarrus are already walking around with their heads up Smith's butt, there's no way for them to de-sphincterize themselves and simply tell Mr. Motorsports where to shove his dragstrip (after all, it must be getting awfully crowded in there). I say give in. Surrender. Go for it. Considering the cultural value Smith brings to the area, I feel that Cabarrus absolutely must cave in to Mr. Motorsports. I suggest Concord be renamed Brutonburg, in honor of our local cultural king, and, to complete the capitulation, I will personally build and put my name on a statue of the businessman who has done so much to elevate the cultural ambience of our region (see photo).

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