Geese, the new illegal immigrants

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For some time, I have had it up to here with illegal immigrants coming to the Charlotte area and destroying our sacred nouveau riche way of life, but now I'm totally over the limit. In case you haven't heard or read, a flock of Canada geese launched a sneaky assault on everything we hold dear (our cars) yesterday on I-485 near South Boulevard. A deadly immigrant geese gang deliberately blocked the highway, causing a driver to slow down to 15 miles per hour, which led to a four-vehicle pile-up that sent four American heroes to the hospital.

Enough is enough! When will Charlotte officials wake up to the danger posed by illegal Canada geese immigrating to our area, stealing our precious grass and bugs and generally wreaking havoc?! If the government won't act, all-American vigilantes must take up the cause — something has to be done to fight this illegal immigrant scourge NOW!!! Otherwise, my fellow anti-immigrant buds and I are going to FRIGGIN' EXPLODE!! That's not something you want to see, believe me. Fight the Geese and save our way of life!

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