This just in from the folks at Time Warner Cable Arena:

GODZ OF WAR POSTPONED

Global Fighting LLC. today announced the upcoming fight scheduled for June 21st  at Time Warner Cable Arena has been postponed until the fall.

TICKET HOLDERS PLEASE NOTE:

All tickets for the June 21st date will be honored for the new date (to be announced later) or are fully refundable at point of purchase.

Please visit www.timewarnercablearena.com or www.godzofwar.com for new date information.

By Nancy Grace 

The defense has rested in the case of R. Kelly, a man best known for ("allegedly") urinating on 14-year-olds. The case is centered around R. Kelly's SEX TAPE WITH A 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL.

R. Kelly is claiming he does not appear in the tape -- that it was a FAKE to extort money from him. Worst of all, the VICTIM -- a washed-up singer-friend of Kelly's who goes by the stage name SPARKLE -- claims she is not in the tape. Fans of justice, I know this sounds distressing, but a victim denying victimhood does NOT mean a case is lost. I once convinced the jury that a man shot his wife in the head, raped the wound and dumped the body in a sewer drain while she sat in the back of the courtroom, clearing her throat and saying "excuse me." (Why? BECAUSE I COULD, THAT'S WHY.) Luckily, Sparkle's friend has bravely stepped forward to testify about all their threesomes so this creep can be LOCKED AWAY.

Much of the trial has centered around witnesses' speculation about who is in that tape. Birthmarks, breast sizes and LARGE FOREHEADS have all come into play. I am confident that "SPARKLE" is not just a hussy but a liar as well. It all goes back to a lesson I learned when I was a girl growing up in Georgia: never trust a girl called Sparkle. There was a girl named Sparkle who lived at the end of my block who was a 7-year-old beauty queen. She would always prance around with her crown on, sashaying her little hips on her imaginary runway.

Being the amateur detective I was, I connected this showy behavior to a guarded personality. She MUST be hiding something, I realized. So one day I acted on my suspicions, jumped her behind her house and beat her savagely with my glitter baton. And WHAT did I find on her person? A GLITTER BATON! The perfect weapon in case she wanted to, say, jump me behind her house and beat me savagely on a hunch.

She stopped joining pagaents after that, because I had knocked her teeth out, mostly. The point being, never turn your back on a Sparkle. They're liable to beat you with the exact same weapon you're in the act of beating her with.

News Groper features more than 50 parody blogs by politicians, celebrities, business tycoons, and foreign despots.

City Council, take note: Taser International, the largest producer of Taser weapons, suffered its first defeat in a product liability court case. TI lost a $6.2 million jury verdict last week over the death of a California man who died after being Tasered multiple times by police in Salinas, Calif. Bloomberg News reports that jurors found Taser International had failed to tell police in Salinas that repeated shots from Tasers could cause cardiac arrest. Charlotte city government, as we've noted before, needs to pay attention to national controversies over the use of Tasers, particularly after 17-year-old Charlotte grocery clerk Darryl Turner died in March after being Tasered by a police officer. Unlike the dead man in the California case, Turner was not tasered multiple times, but the point remains the same: there's now a chink in Taser International's armor. City Council should take note of the potential for lawsuits against the city in the future. The problem for police is that, to quote a supervisor in the Royal Canadian police, "we really don't fully understand and know the risks of Tasers." What we do know is that for a weapon that's so often touted as a "non-lethal alternative," Tasers sure seem to be killing a lot of people. They are potentially deadly weapons that, from all evidence, are being used too freely by many police around the country. Once again, I urge City Council to temporarily stop the use of Tasers by police until definitive research can be concluded regarding the weapon's full effects and possible complications. If Council members won't consider a halt in Taser use for fear of killing yet more of the citizens they represent, maybe the thought of a big fat lawsuit will change their minds.

Four killed by tornado at camp were Boy Scouts: A deadly tornado ripped through a Boy Scout camp in Western Iowa at about 6:30 Wednesday night and killed four of the Scouts. Forty-eight other Scouts and staff members were also injured.

Full story: CNN.com

A flashy Facebook page, at a cost to privacy: The mini-programs that allow users to personalize their Facebook pages with little games and trivia quizzes may allow strangers access to their personal information. These applications require the user as well as their friends to enter private facts like place of birth and employment history.

Full story: MSNBC.com

Military 'runs Mugabe campaign': The BBC has received documents that detail how the Zanu-PF, Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe's party, will use violence and intimidation to coerce Zimbabweans to only vote for his party. The documents have not been verified, but all the tactics that were detailed in the documents have occurred.

Full story: BBC News

Woods says he's ready, despite not walking full 18 since Masters: Tiger Woods is ready to win the U.S. open in Torrey Pines, California this week though his left knee is still "a little sore" after recent surgery. Woods has won two U.S. Opens and 13 major championships in his career

Full story : ESPN.com