Oh boy, oh boy, it's Race Week. Time to celebrate that huge, money-making, tourist-dollar-generating, oval thing up near Concord, run by that civic-minded glutton of the public trough, the King Hog himself, Bruton Smith. Time to celebrate a sport in which the primary physical activity is turning left while driving really fast. Time to celebrate a nearly all-white and all-male sport that burns incredible amounts of fossil fuels, is loud enough to make the ground in and around the Speedway tremble, has sold out its downhome roots for high ticket prices and luxury boxes, and is routinely laden with cheesy pro-war displays. Time to celebrate all this wonderment downtown with traffic-blocking, lowest common denominator entertainment, and greasy foods. Woo-hooooo! It's Race Week! Excuse me while I do something - anything -- else.

Enjoy the races! Maybe you'll run into this guy!