Ready! Set! Speed Dial!

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by Fred Thompson

I announced today via the telephone that I would be a candidate for the Republican nomination. The only lazier way was smoke signals, and there ain’t no Navajo word for Giuliani.

The call to my supporters was to be 10 minutes but went longer 'cause in the middle I got another call, and shoot I refinanced the house right there on the phone, so Big Freddie was two for two without leaving the hammock.

I’m gonna be on The Tonight Show Wednesday. Johnny must be on vacation because I got the Leno kid. Gonna talk about trucks and stuff. I'm trying to set it up through satellite cause 5:30’s pretty late up in these parts.

Then on Thursday I will officially announce my candidacy, via video.

Shoot, if I keep this up I’m gonna spend less time on my feet than FDR.

Big Freddie in ’08. Born to sit.

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