Drunk Gab, part two


A few months back, I wrote an article on Drunk Gab — things overheard while out and about in the Queen City. Well, I’ve decided a part two was long overdue. This time, I think back to being at the dinner table talking about blood or gore and being told, “That’s not appropriate, Aerin, people are trying to eat.”

While I resented being told I had to be quiet, I now understand the importance of “minding my tongue” at the dinner table, but more importantly, in public spaces. Believe it or not, there are some things that don’t just make for good conversation. No one understands more than I do how difficult it is to be aware of my surroundings or be P.C. (politically correct). Not to mention I’m from the South, so being quiet doesn’t always come naturally — especially after a few drinks.

Last week, I was enjoying a drink with the boyfriend in a dimly lit, intimate setting when out of nowhere I heard someone discussing loudly her choice to take five years of probation over jail time. Granted, she made a smart choice, but I thought to myself, “Well what’d she do in the first place?” I chuckled thinking about the crazy things that have come out of my mouth — things I had purposely said aloud for other people to hear — and what listening ears and wild thoughts probably ran wild in strangers’ ears.

Here are a few topics you may want to leave at home the next you’re headed out for the night. Keep in mind, I’m not judging anyone, I’ve been the prime example of these way too often.

Jail bait: Unless you’re telling a hilarious night in the drunk tank, when it comes to talking about your legal challenges, you may want to keep it to yourself. From warrants and probation, to serving jail time, everyone around you doesn’t always understand. The last thing you want is for someone to be scared of or misunderstand you because they don’t know the circumstances of your trouble.

Bathroom chat: Listen, no one needs to know that you’re not wearing any underwear, especially when you walk out with a short skirt. Your stall neighbors also don’t want to know the color of bomb you just dropped. Not only is that TMI (too much information) but it also makes for nausea that’s hard to come back from. And the same goes for guys, a friend of mine almost annihilated a guy who he helped after he almost fell in a urinal with his vom and pee. Needless to say, the guy grabbed his shoulder…without washing his hands. When it comes to the bathroom — get in and get out.

Talking about others: Speaking of poop, you probably should avoid talking about other people when they’re in the same venue. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve overheard someone talking about another person’s outfit or hair and that person walked up and heard the whole exchange. Talk about awkward. This includes taking pictures of people, by the way, the flash has gotten gossips in trouble one too many times.

Politics: With so much in the news these days about elections, altercations with the police, sexuality and racial unrest, I would avoid loud conversations in all areas of politics. We all understand freedom of speech is protected by the First Amendment. But that doesn’t mean that you should comment on everything you watched on the news that morning, especially if you’re not ready to get into a huge debate with your neighbors at dinner. And let’s be honest, that could lead to much more than a debate.

Obsession: I’ve come across my fair share of cuties that can’t just get over his or her ex or crush. As hard as it is to understand, no one wants to hear about how obsessed you are with someone ALL the time. Trust me, I’ve been that drunk girl going on and on about what I would’ve done differently. Talk about annoying? Being publicly obsessive only makes you look crazy and sad. Your soulmate could be the one that overhears you and decides to move on.

Avoid the judgment and save the drama for your momma. While it’s tempting to embrace your inner celebrity and shout from the mountaintops every single thing that comes to your mind, you could wind up putting your foot in your mouth. And guess what? You don’t have the thousands of followers most celebrities do, you’ll just look like an ass. 

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