It happens … drinking too much, that is. I always become guilty at weddings with open bars and when my best friend comes to visit. In light of the fact that she was in town this past weekend, and I spent four entire days preparing to be featured on Intervention (on A&E), I decided to compile a list of helpful hints and tips to help ease the pain of consuming too many adult beverages, and the severe next day consequences of such behavior.
DO continue drinking the next day, but DON'T have just one. If you are going to have some of the hair of the dog that bit you, you better be prepared to shoot it, skin it and wear it a as a floor length fur coat. One drink doesn’t work. Seven helps tremendously. I recommend rum fruit smoothies for the nutritional value.
DO visit your nearest grocer and buy some Pedialyte. It’s not just for kids who are limited in what they will eat — it’s also for grownups who don’t know their limits.
DO visit your nearest after-hours hot dog vendor. I find that getting something on your stomach, particularly something that you can buy IMMEDIATELY upon stepping outside of the bar, helps to prevent nausea the next morning. It’s most effective if you make them zig-zag the ketchup.
DON’T decide to pick up smoking for the night. If you aren’t a regular smoker, it’s a terrible idea. If you are a regular smoker, you’re never out over-drinking because you live under that rock.
DO leave your cell phone in the car. I made a vow after this weekend to never take mine to weddings or on best friend outings again. Not ever. You know what makes a hangover worse? Getting calls from your Memaw asking why you called her at 1:37 a.m. screaming, “I’m about to give these bitches all of my dollars!!!” into the phone. Also, a headache and a hatred of who you can become when you have four jager bombs is only intensified by realizing that you called your ex-boyfriend who cheated on you and used to take number twos in the bathroom while you were in the shower. Inconsiderate on both counts.
In closing, I would like to sincerely thank my best friend Theresa, Harvey’s in Huntersville, Marigny, Daisy Dooks, and Uptown Cabaret for a weekend of hard lessons. Worth it.
Megan Henshall is a project coordinator by day, favorite child, rollerskating enthusiast, blogger, and lover of all things social and under appreciated. For more writing/ramblings/rants visit www.dearsuchandso-keyboardventing.blogspot.com.
