The Bamboo Shout

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Here is a very advanced (oral) Kama Sutra position that will certainly take some balance and dexterity to accomplish. It begins by the man performing a headstand against a wall, holding his weight by his arms. He can then carefully lower himself down to where he is supporting part of his weight with his head and neck muscles.

The woman can now slide in, placing his head between her legs and then place her own head between his. The two can now pleasure each other with the succulent taste of each others nectar. The man and woman can also swap positions during play to give the man a rest.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)? 

3... you'll see why!

Did you have difficulty getting into the position?  I had some difficulty getting into position, yes.

Did you feel like a pretzel? Were you able to do the motions once in position?  This is a similar helpless feeling to being tied up in knots like a pretzel. I was definitely not at my best form when it came to working my oral magic. This position lends itself to an immediate discomfort and lack of oxygen that is just not conducive to planting your face in your partners muff for several minutes without a snorkel hanging out of her ass.

Any recommendations on getting either in or out of this position:  It is easier to climb a wall to a headstand with your face pointing towards the wall than it is to flip around using a front somersault. The problem with this however is your partner must then squeeze between the wall and your face to get in the correct position. Since I couldn't muster the courage for the flip, we went with the squeeze play.

How long did you last in the position?  2 minutes... she was against the snorkel idea, so we had to cut it short!

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the woman):  The position didn't do a whole lot for her.

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the man):  Very little enjoyment. As Confucius once say, “Strong 'wood' cannot a man make, but a man cannot make “wood” if he is hanging upside down in a tree.” It is all a matter of simple hydraulics!

Short Answers

Was the position comfortable? Were you able to relax?

Man:  No,  Man (especially man) is just not meant to hang upside. Balls just don't feel right hanging up!

Woman:  She was comfortable, but also bored.

Would you consider this to be an intimate position (Why or why not)?  No, I see this position as similar to that of a bad boob job. It's all for the look, but doesn't add a whole lot to the action... but then again, one persons bloated jugs, is another's golden globes... so this stroke just might be considered intimate for some folk.

Are you achy or sore after the fact?

Man:  No

Woman:  No

What did the position feel like (both mentally and physically) in 50 words or less?  This position gave me a slight headache, made me sick to my stomach, drained my mojo, softened my “wood”, scrunched my balls, and wounded my inner child! Other than that, it was terrible!

Did she reach orgasm?  …No

Did he reach orgasm?  ...No

Did it take longer than usual to reach orgasm?  N/A

Would you do this position again (why or why not)?  No! Read all the above again and if you still don't understand, try it for yourself.

Any suggestions to make the position more pleasurable:  Putting the woman in the upside down position seems to work a lot better in my opinion

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