A friend of mine on the opposite coast is a crossdresser considering transitioning. He came out to a female friend he had known for a long time but hadn't seen in a while, and she told her that she wanted her to come to her house fully dressed for some hot sex to "explore her bi-curiosity" or some shit. I told her to go for it, saying gender-transgression play is potentially hot. I neglected to mention that she should only go for it if she trusted this girl (hereafter known as "Evil Bitch"). Evil Bitch backed out as soon as she arrived, but took her out to dinner (still fully dressed) as consolation. When she first told me this, I thought, "Oh well, Evil Bitch got cold feet, that sucks." Now my friend is telling me that Evil Bitch messaged a bunch of mutual friends he wasn't out to, outing my friend to them. After my friend told Evil Bitch that what went down between them was private, Evil Bitch just responded with "LOL k," and THEN posted pictures from their dinner date — fully dressed — on her Facebook. I told my friend to call Evil Bitch up and tell her what a violation of privacy and betrayal of trust that was. She just called him a faggot and hung up. I feel bad because I encouraged her to go for it. Is there anything my friend can do? She's freaking out and thinks that Evil Bitch ruined her life.
Friend Of Crossdresser Betrayed By Evil Bitch
Your pronouns are all over the place, FOCBBEB. Your friend is a she, then a he, then a she, then a he. So I'm gonna stick with "Your Friend," despite how clunky it makes my response, because I can't tell how Your Friend identifies.
Twenty years ago, Your Friend could've told Your Friend's relatives and whatever friends Your Friend had in common with Evil Bitch that they got dressed up for a laugh and Your Friend can't for the life of Your Friend understand why Evil Bitch is misrepresenting what they did that night. But I can only assume that Your Friend and Evil Bitch exchanged e-mails, swapped texts, sent DMs via Twitter, etc., so Your Friend shouldn't accuse Evil Bitch of lying. That will prompt Evil Bitch to retaliate by posting e-mails, texts and DMs to Facebook, which will only make things worse for Your Friend.
Since Your Friend can't turn this around on Evil Bitch — and since calling Evil Bitch a liar will only make things worse for Your Friend — there's no way for Your Friend to nip this situation in the bud. Your Friend can only get out in front of it. Your Friend is out about the crossdressing now, at least, and Your Friend should embrace being out with as much good grace and courage as Your Friend can muster. And paradoxically, FOCBBEB, the more at peace with being out Your Friend appears to be, the fewer people Your Friend will be outed to. If Your Friend tries to keep this quiet, other malicious assholes will realize they can hurt Your Friend by spreading the news. If Your Friend acts like Your Friend couldn't care less who knows, malicious assholes will be less likely to spread it around.
I've known a few people who were outed by malicious shits like Evil Bitch — outed as gay or kinky or swingers or poly or all of the above — and it sucks and it hurts and, yes, it can turn a person's life upside down. But most of the people I've known who were outed looked back on the experience a year or two later with ... well ... not with gratitude, but they woke up one day happy to be free of the stress of keeping their big secret. Maybe Your Friend will feel the same way, and Your Friend will have Evil Bitch to thank.
In the meantime, FOCBBEB, offer Your Friend your support and get in the face of anyone who gives Your Friend any grief.
My brother and his new wife had a three-way with a male hotel receptionist while on their honeymoon. I don't have a problem with three-ways in theory, but I think it's wrong to have one on your fucking honeymoon. I was their best man. What am I supposed to do now?
Disgusted Big Bro
You're supposed to shut the fuck up and mind your own business — now and always.
How long should a person wait to "get back out there" when his wife has been eaten by a zombie? Asking for a friend.
Sheriff Rick Grimes (via Twitter @RickGrimesATL)
Not too long — life is short, particularly during a zombie apocalypse, and your friend shouldn't waste what little time he has left. And remember: During a zombie apocalypse, all relationships are rebound relationships. So your friend should get out there.