"My late husband Leonard didn't work because he found two bags of cash behind a bank 40 years ago and invested most of it in the rolling papers industry."
Ross P. Lamartine
"I guess it would have to be that my wife and I, through superior brain power and mental training, now control the entire North American continent."
"Funny you should ask. My secret is that I dress up like Oprah when I watch the show and pretend that I'm the one asking questions."
"Just like Sue Myrick, Jesus speaks to me through my coffeemaker."