Girls are crazy. (OK, emotional if you want to be "P.C." about it) What? ... We are -- it's called estrogen. But what the hell is the excuse for men?

I'm not sure whether they're assholes or just clueless, but what makes men think it's OK to court a woman by asking, "Would you like to go get a drink?" Yes, we women like to go and drink up some nightlife ... with our girlfriends. That invitation coming from someone trying to get to know me translates as -- "I want to get you under the influence to better enhance my chances of getting you under the covers -- and improve my social skills in the meantime." I've gotten to the point where I only accept a lunch date as a first date in order to avoid this bullshit.

Because men are quite business savvy -- they want a return on their investment. The last few guys I've agreed to meet up with had the audacity to text me and ask, "If we go out can we kiss after?" As if they need to know that their anticipated investment of buying my meal or ticket will equate to a return in ASSets.

While I was in classes at The Second City in Chicago, a guy who works there wrote me a handwritten note -- "Just wondering if you wanted to come over for a drink ~Chris" Again with the drinks ... and come over?

But the overall lack of chivalry these days has apparently caused me to lower my standards so much that I actually thought the note was endearing ... hey, it's better than a text.

Is chivalry like an endangered animal? But I can't necessarily fault a man for liquidating the ASSets at his disposal --­ girls make it too easy for them ... but it seems as though that not being easy is making it hard to get a guy. Why would a guy make a long-term investment when he can cash in an immediate return?

My inbox gets inundated with letters from readers inquiring where they should go in order to meet people, and as a nightlife columnist I provide the best suggestion I can -- not a bar. But where can you meet people? Perhaps a bank with more savvy investors ... apparently just not Wachovia.

Now granted, not all men are clueless assholes ... but all women are crazy. It's the women who can admit to being crazy sometimes that are the normal ones.