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Who was the bigger jerk?

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I am a 28-year-old woman, living in a town with a big military base. About a year ago, I noticed this really torn-up-looking guy sitting by himself in a bar. It turned out his wife had just been deployed and was going to be gone for nine months. He said he didn't think he'd make it. We wound up having sex. I moved in a few days after that. The whole thing revolved around nobody asking questions. Over time, I fell in love with him, and I thought he fell in love with me. If I thought about the future, I told myself he'd leave his wife for me.

Yesterday, he woke up and said, "It's over. She's coming home today." I was crying and crying while he kept coming up with these unbelievable lines: We had a good thing, he'd miss my love, I should try to remember the magic. Then he told me to look away so he wouldn't have to watch me crying!

I know I was a fool, Dan, but who was the bigger jerk?

Sad Eyes

Seeing as you spent the last nine months attempting to be the author of someone else's misery — his wife's misery — only to wind up being the author of your own, SE, it's kind of hard to feel sorry for you. I gotta say that your jerkiness is the kind that makes me want to break out my brand-new-asshole-carving knife.

But he's the bigger jerk.

My reasoning: He took up with another woman during his wife's absence, and he allowed this other woman to move into the home he shared with his wife. The other woman avoided conversations about the future because she was afraid of finding out that she didn't have one; he avoided conversations about the future because he was afraid the other woman would pack up her pussy and leave if he told her she didn't have one. And then he tossed the other woman out on her ass the very day his wife returned to the States, giving her very little time to make other living arrangements.

That makes him the bigger jerk, IMO. You both deserve new assholes — but he deserves a slightly bigger one.

I'm writing about the "Choicer Challenge" you've issued to all the bigots out there who say that being gay is a choice (CL, June 1). I think you've set yourself up for a possible failure here, Dan.

I'm a straight guy. I am also a stubborn motherfucker. If I were one of those choicers, Dan, I would suck your dick just to win the argument. That's why the Choicer Challenge should say that they have to suck you off while maintaining a glass-cutting boner. I could probably will myself to blow you to prove a point, but willing myself to get hard during it? Not possible!

Bone Machine

Good point, BM. The Choicer Challenge is hereby amended to include the production of a glass-cutting boner while blowing me. I'm waiting for your call, John "Choicer" Cummins.

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