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When Trump affects the bedroom

Slouching toward 2017



Perhaps you're not the best person to ask, being a cis white man, but as a queer woman of color, the election had an extremely detrimental effect on my relationships with my white partners. I love and care for them, but looking at those results has me wondering why the fuck they didn't do better in reaching out to their shitty relatives? I'm sick of living at the whim of white America. I'm aware this is the blame stage of processing, but it's left me unable to orgasm with my white partners. I'm really struggling with what Trump means for me and others who look like me. I know my queer white partners aren't exempt from the ramifications of this, but I wish they had done better. Respond however you like.

Devastated Over National Election

First and most importantly, DONE, you don't have to fuck anyone you don't wanna fuck — period, the end, fin, full stop, terminus — but we owe it to ourselves to be thoughtful about who we're fucking, who we aren't, and why.

Data isn't a turn-on for most people, DONE, and I'm not suggesting the data I'm about to cite obligates you to fuck anyone. But queer voters (a group that includes millions of people of color) didn't just reject Trump, they did so by wider margins than some communities of color (groups that include millions of queers). While 14 percent of LGBT voters backed Trump, 28 percent of Latino voters and 19 percent of Asian American voters backed Trump. (Only 8 percent of African Americans voted for Trump.) The shitty and unfathomable votes of some POC—and some queers (WTF, 14 percenters?)—doesn't get your white partners off the orgasm-killing hook.

Like you, DONE, I'm struggling with what this election means. I'm not going to tell you what to do, or who to do, or how to process the election. I am going to tell you to talk with all your partners about your fears and your anger, and I encourage you to do whatever and whoever feels right going forward.

I have an idea for something that I think might make it a bit easier for us to survive Trump. What if there were "Trump Minus 100" parties? Every time we get another 100 days closer to the end of the Trump/Pence administration, we have a get-together to celebrate, commiserate, protest, raise money, whatever. The first party would be just a few days before the inauguration—to stiffen people's resolve—and then three or four parties a year after that. Here are how the dates fall out: Sunday, January 15, 2017 (1,100 days left); Tuesday, April 25, 2017 (1,000 days left); Thursday, August 3, 2017 (900 days left); Saturday, November 11, 2017 (800 days left); Monday, February 19, 2018 (700 days left); Wednesday, May 30, 2018 (600 days left); Friday, September 7, 2018 (500 days left); Sunday, December 16, 2018 (400 days left); Tuesday, March 26, 2019 (300 days left); Thursday, July 4, 2019 (200 days left and the Fourth of July!); Saturday, October 12, 2019 (100 days left); Monday, January 20, 2020 (0 days left). What do you think?

One Hundred Days At A Time

Something about seeing the next four years broken up into 12 — just 12! — 100-day chunks makes it seem less daunting. Orange Julius Caesar can do a lot of damage over four years, of course, but breaking his term into 100-day increments, and making each hundredth day a day of action, is a great idea. If someone out there wants to pick up OHDAAT's idea and run with it, I purchased the URL Get in touch, show me your plan, and I'll pass the URL on to you.

In response to Peaceful Protester from a couple of weeks ago — the reader who suggested protesting at Trump's inauguration—everyone needs to know that a protest is already planned! It's called the Women's March on Washington, but all genders are welcome, and local protests are being organized around the country for those who can't make it to Washington, DC.

Protesting in Minnesota

Thanks for sharing, PIM!

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