On the road again ... Over the past few weeks, I've traveled to Daytona, Fla., Tulsa, Okla., and Wilmington, N.C., for work. But, being the nightlife connoisseur that I am, I always manage to incorporate some play in my day.
First stop: Wilmywood. My Wilmington hangout was "Shaboom Shabooms" ... you know, from the HBO series East Bound and Down. But in real life it's Blue Post, a low-key dive hidden in an alley downtown. There I played SkeeBall and pool -- both not well, with the cast of One Tree Hill. The bartenders remembered my drink order and made it for me as soon as they saw me nearing the bar ... and the drinks there are so strong I had to order a side of soda. I also stopped in for breakfast at Whitey's Restaurant, where Michael Jordan worked his first job. I'm sure he could always work there again if he needs money to match the offer for the Bobcats.
While in Daytona for the "Danica 500," we ate beachside at Wing House where, to our surprise, the waitresses served us wings ... wearing lingerie. It was like Hooters on crack. Meanwhile, I was getting swarmed by drunk NASCAR fans who thought I was Danica Patrick.
And then there's Tulsa, an interesting place in itself. For starters, at the airport, a Tyson's vending machine was available where one can purchase chicken wings, and at Toby Keith's bar in the Hard Rock casino, where they also had virtual roulette, fried cow balls are on the menu. Then there's the bar Elephant Run, located at a Best Western someone recommended us to check out.
Before I know it, I'm in a room in the Best Western lobby where there's a fortune teller, a DJ and bartender and 10 strippers crawling around on plastic fold-out tables. And when I went to grab a slice of pizza, I noticed a topless stripper sitting down at the table eating some herself. She was licking her greasy fingers and shaking crumbs off her naked breasts. How did I end up here?
I started clicking my heels together ... there's no place like home ... 'cause there really is no place like Charlotte and its nightlife -- where people wear clothes.