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Warning, America: Here Comes Rev. Rob

Local ads to air during the big dance

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CBS will be raking in $2.3 million for 30 seconds of commercial air time during the Super Bowl; with an audience of 800 million, you can do that. But in a little-publicized PR move, this year the Super Bowl is allowing each of the competing cities (in this year's case, Charlotte and Boston) to broadcast their best local TV commercial for free during the game in order to boost each city's image. CL has learned that the Chamber has begun conducting a competition among local TV commercial producers to decide which commercial will best represent our go-go boomtown on national TV and cement our reputation as a truly World Class city. The finalists, as of press time, were:

1. Jim Samson and Samson Used Cars: The "We're Dealin'" guy. Nothing says World Class like a man screaming while walking around a used car lot.

2. Reverend Rob, he of the massive pompadour and Apple Motors: The "We're Healin'" guy. A personal favorite of at least one of the judges, although doubts remain whether a national audience will understand the finer nuances of the locally oriented satire.

3. Griffin Motors' Horace and Doris commercials feature sophisticated, urbane humor, stellar production values and racially sensitive themes -- how much more World Class can you get?

4. Tippens and Zurosky, Attorneys At Law: Beautiful graphics, convincing acting, and a solid product -- how can the judges not get excited about a commercial for professionals in the highly esteemed field of personal injury law?

5. Furniture Factory Outlet in Waxhaw: CL's favorite in the competition; you know your city's gonna impress when its representative ad consists of a flying superhero who spouts Bible quotations condemning gays.

6. Harrelson Ford's famous "That's Awesome, Bill" commercial, starring the debonair master of TV advertising, Louis F. Harrelson himself.

7. Tom Smith and Food Lion: Just for old times' sake, the Chamber is considering the series of commercials that took the area by storm in the 1990s, featuring pre-forced retirement Food Lion honcho Tom Smith, letting the world know that he and his stores featured World Class "extry-low prices."

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