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Two Years Later

A lying puppet in need of Ritalin

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On September 15, a few days after the second anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, GI George will arrive when KB Toys stores begin selling the $39.99 George Bush "Elite Force Aviator" action figure. The 12-inch doll comes dressed in traditional naval flight suit, just like President Bush wore on the USS Abraham Lincoln when he proclaimed the end of "major combat" in Iraq.

Of course, if this were a world where accuracy mattered, rather than GI George with Can-Do Grip, he'd hit the shelves as President Pinocchio with Attention Deficit Disorder -- a pathological liar doll with the attention span of a piece of wood, whose strings are pulled by gray-haired old men suffering from plutocratic dementia; you can almost hear Electoral College Barbie scream, "Lie to me, lie to me."

If that seems a bit harsh, consider this partial litany of Bush Pinocchio-isms:

The campaign plank of anti-nation building he walked us off in short order.

Using the imminent threat of non-existent WMDs as a pretext for war.

Praising US soldiers while cutting their benefits.

Categorically denying that napalm was used in Iraq before having to admit that it was.

Promising to not abandon Afghanistan and then "forgetting" to budget reconstruction money.

Labeling the capture of Osama bin Laden as a top priority then saying it doesn't really matter.

Feigning ignorance after 9/11 when he and his administration had been receiving increasingly alarmed and frequent warnings of a catastrophic attack by terrorists on the US in the spring and summer of 2001.

Swearing to uphold the US Constitution and then giving the go-ahead to Attorney General John Ashcroft to shred it.

Ordering the EPA to give misleading information regarding air quality in New York City in the aftermath of the WTC attack.

Proclaiming the sanctity of the environment, then suggesting that wildfires be controlled by allowing loggers to "remove" trees from protected wilderness areas.

Touting the virtues of fiscal responsibility while turning a healthy surplus into the largest deficit in American history.

Pivoting "No new taxes" for the rich to "No new jobs" for everyone else. And so on and on.

Perhaps there's not some innate Pinocchio-like Bush character flaw behind this. Maybe he simply can't stay focused. If that's the case, the problem can be addressed as many American parents do. In a patriotic gesture, let's all mail the President a Ritalin pill attached to a note: "Dear George: Please take your medication and pay attention -- 2004 remains in our focus."

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