Music » Brittney After Dark

The worst kind of hangover


There's a kind of hangover that even a greasy breakfast washed down with Pepto can't cure... the moral hangover. A feeling of intense regret and personal worthlessness after a night of alcohol-induced moral turpitude. It's when your pride is hurting in addition to your liver. And personally, I'd take a tummy ache and dehydration headache, or even tiger-in-the-bathroom ala The Hangover, over a moral hangover. Because I'd rather nurse those symptons than nurse a relationship damaged in drunkenness.

After attending the recent grand opening of Enso where I sampled their variety of sake, I woke up with a physical hangover. I made a beeline for the coffee maker, and I found myself jealous of it ... it has a filter. Why can't I get one of those? Because alcohol tends to deactivate that trigger in your brain that allows you to think before you speak. And they say a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts. Yeah, well, I speak a little too much -- like the time I told a cohort that he had chronic bad breath and I felt bad because everyone always talks about him behind his back, but won't tell him ... or the time I said something to a guy in an attempt to deflate his manhood because he pissed me off.

And ladies, have you ever woken up after a night out and found yourself with running mascara, unanswered drunk dials, a broken heel and no sense of otherwise dignity? Well, that means you were most likely "that girl" last night and that can generate a moral hangover that feels worse than period cramps. As for the guys, their moral hangover usually kicks in when they wake up and roll over.

And then there are texts mocking us from our sent box. So much for my idea of inventing a breathalyzer for your phone that restricts you from calling certain numbers if you've been drinking... because now there's texting, and phones don't have a filter like a coffee maker.

Don't let alcohol poison your emotions in addition to your body. Then again, sometimes bad decisions do lead to good stories.

Read more texts from last night, He Said She Said with Brotha Fred and about new clubs such as Enso, as well as Luna Lounge, Town Tavern and Dharma Lounge at Also read why it's good to give head... on your beer.

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