Vi Carola: Sure. OK, gals, first, I assume we're still gonna save our same spots like we always do, we don't need to discuss that, do we?
All: No way, mumble, mutter.
Vi: All righty then, let's get down to business. Do we want to use tarps or blankets this week?
Cindy Myers: I move that we use blankets again.
Cha-Cha Templeton: I second that.
Vi: Even after somebody moved our blankets last Sunday?
Cha-Cha: Damn right — I can't believe somebody would be so rude as to move. . .
Vi: Yeah yeah, we've been over that a hundred times, Cha-Cha.
Cha-Cha: Oh, excu-u-u-se me, Miss Not the Chairperson.
Vi: Well, maybe if you'd weighted your blankets down like you're supposed to....
Cha-Cha: Oh, like yours didn't get moved, too.
Bitsy: Jesus Christ, settle down, y'all, and let's vote. Don't let those whiny losers at Symphony Park and in the paper get us at each other's throats.
Vi: OK, all in favor of blankets, say aye.
Several voices: AYE!
Vi: OK, that was easy. Next?
Janet Kessler: I move that we throw ice at that gross couple who parked their butts right in front of us.
Mandy Boshamer: Who?
Janet: You remember, that old man in the denim shorts?
Mandy: Oh yeah. God, you could tell they'd both bought their clothes at Target. Why'd they let him in, dressed like that? And did you see their food? Wendy's!
Cha-Cha: You are kidding! You let the middle class riffraff in and it's all downhill from there.
Bitsy: Can y'all please get on with it?
Vi: Ooh, somebody sounds a little tense. Is it desperate housewife time, Miz Chairman?
Bitsy: Just wait till it's your turn to be chairperson and see how far you get, Miss My Jaguar Is Almost 10 Years Old.
Janet: Oh forget it, I withdraw my motion.
Vi: Thank you, Janet. Now, are we gonna wear tops and shorts or cute one-piece outfits this week?
Cindy: I say tops and shorts — we wore one-piece outfits last week.
Cha-Cha: But I just got the cutest outfit at Talbot's!
Vi: Let's vote on it then. All in favor of tops and shorts, say aye.
Several voices: AYE.
Vi: Looks like the new outfit'll have to wait, Cha.
Cha-Cha: Oh, shoot.
Vi: OK, let's keep going. Just raise your hands on these. Do we want wine or Pellegrino. Wine? Pellegrino? Looks like wine wins again (laughs). Bitsy, you got anymore boxes of merlot?
Bitsy: I got a garage full, I'll bring a couple.
Vi: Great. Now, Dean & Deluca or Fresh Market? D&D? Fresh Market? All right — Dean & Deluca. I'll grab some goodies Sunday. Extra macaroons?
Vi: One more thing: do we wanna bring cellphones or beepers?
Cindy: I've got to have a cell — you know, in case little Logan or Crystal need to call.
Mandy: God, you spent half the last concert on your cell, yelling at them.
Cindy: Well, Logan was peeing in the pool! What do want me to do?
Vi: Oh, and that made him quit peeing?
Bitsy: Just let 'em wait till you get home, Cin. You don't hear my Kendall and Cassidy calling me up while we're socializing, do you?
Cindy: Well, I'm bringing my cell, I don't care what anybody says.
Vi: OK, whatever. Now, Mandy, I think it's your turn to set up the blankets, right?
Mandy: You mean it's Michael's turn to set 'em up. (giggles)
Vi, giggling: Well, we have to keep the hubbies busy doing something, don't we?
Bitsy: I wish.
Bitsy: Nothing, let's just get this over with.
Vi: You're right. So, Mandy, you'll get Michael to do the blankets?
Mandy: Yep, and I guarantee he won't let any complainers stop him. Not after what he did to all those extra employees they had at the bank.
Janet: It's like he told Bill - there's no rules when it comes to the seating at Summer Pops. No rules means it's dog eat dog, first come first served, survival of the quickest.
Mandy: Yeah, Michael loves it when there's no rules. He calls it "Caveman time"!
Vi: That's what we like to hear. Let's protect our spots, gals, and steamroll anybody that gets in the way.
All: Woo-hoo! Yeah!
Vi: Bitsy, is it OK if you pick us all up in the Hummer again?
Bitsy: You bet — this is war, y'all. Meeting dismissed.