Larry 'n Moe in Jail: A hungry inmate was dining on some jailhouse grub when her cellmate began poking her fork into the hungry inmate's plate. The inmate asked the fork poker to stop, but instead of relenting, the poker switched poking devices. In vintage Three Stooges form, she poked her finger into the woman's eyes. The victim did not have time to employ the classic hand-in-front-of-the-nose block. The assaulter then abandoned her cutesy methods of attack and slugged the hungry inmate two times in the face, breaking her nose.
Casanova: Diamond earrings, a pearl necklace and a $100 bottle of champagne were stolen from a man's home. It's doubtful the robber will choose to tell his partner that his romantic gesture came from dishonorable means.
Food Fight: A woman walked into a fitness center to speak with a male employee she knew. During the conversation, the woman became enraged and threw her lunch (which she was holding for some reason) at the man. Barbeque chicken and mashed potatoes hurled from the chucked Tupperware container. The woman added insult to injury by mashing the food into the carpet with her foot. She was charged with assault and to damage to property.
Aryans in Charlotte!: The Latin American Coalition received a second threat from the Aryan Nation this week.
Bible Bandit: A woman called police to report that someone within her family had robbed her. A clock, knickknacks, six umbrellas, fishing rods, tennis shoes, boots, $1,800 worth of videos and four Bibles were stolen. (Note irony.) The woman believes most of the items were thrown out in a dumpster.
What's Wrong with this Picture?: A man left his 1997 Ford Crown Victoria on the side of the road, claiming he was out of gas. When he returned to the vehicle, it was gone.
Doggy style: On his way home, a man realized he was being followed. He turned around, threw his hands up and asked the stalkers why they were following him. Instead of answering with words, one of the stalkers shot him in the left hand, then took off running. The wounded man reported the shooter's cronies called him Snoop.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.