News & Views » The Blotter

The Blotter

by

comment

Secret Stash: A 39-year-old woman reported a robbery in her home. Someone stole money she was storing in a picture frame hanging on her wall. This isn't the terrible '20s, it's OK to trust the banks again. The woman reported a loss of $15.

Have An Audiovisual Section?: An alarm sounded when the back door of an elementary school's library was kicked in. Once inside, the trespassers took nothing, proving that reading is in fact dead.

Mike Tyson Wannabe: Police responded to a fight call on Woodlawn Road. Once there, they found two males had been assaulted with cutting instruments and a third male had the top of his ear bitten off. Marijuana (valued at $20) was found at the scene. Sounds like the perfect anti-pot ad. Smoking dope will make you crave human flesh.

Sweet Nothings: A 37--year--old female reported an unknown suspect has called her home five times. The suspect does not say anything into the phone. The caller just plays sexually explicit music.

Look Both Ways: A jaywalker wandered into the middle of the road and was struck dead-on by a cyclist. The jaywalker suffered either bruises or scratches (the police report does not distinguish between the two injuries). The cyclist's $700 bike was totaled. Remarkably, the jaywalker wasn't charged with her reckless trotting.

Blame The Pepperoni Man?: On a Monday night, a rock flew through the front window of a man's home. The man wasn't sure who threw the rock but said he had a problem with a pizza delivery guy earlier in the evening.

Label Lover: After being out of town, a family returned home to find their house had been burglarized. Other than some electronics, Prada, Gucci and Louis Vuitton purses were taken. Hard to feel bad for her.

Crime Of The Century: Overnight at a truck reconditioning business, four trucks, five cases of antifreeze, some power tools and two sets of golf clubs were stolen. The vandals broke into the office and took the keys to the vehicles they stole. The combined total value of property taken was estimated at $589,650. Two of the trucks have been recovered so far.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

Add a comment