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The Blotter

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happy valentine's day: A woman reported her car had been vandalized. A suspect within her family carved "I love you" on the hood of her Jetta with an unknown object. The sculptor also scratched the door panels. Damage to the car is estimated at $2,000.

Calling Joe Friday: A 20-year-old man called police from a club late Saturday to report a fight. He had been hit in the face with brass knuckles. (People really fight with brass knuckles? We thought that happened only in cheesy 1960s cop shows.)

what did you expect?: For some reason an unemployed man parked his car on an exit ramp off Independence Boulevard. The car was ticketed. The next day, the man returned to find his car in the process of being towed. He noticed his stereo had been stolen, so he filed a police report.

Short circuit: A woman visited her friend and was engaged in pleasant conversation until the dialogue turned to the contentious topic of electronics. The two friends got into a vicious argument about a VCR. One friend grabbed a kitchen knife and brought it to the other's throat. Gee, all that over an electronic dinosaur.

sweet tooth: A Central Avenue restaurateur filed a police report one morning after finding a window in the back of the business busted open. After a thorough investigation, however, the restaurant staff determined nothing had been taken. They were wrong. Later in the afternoon an employee opened the refrigerator and found desserts missing. Three separate boxes of custard treats -- apple, pear and berry -- were gone. The staff also noticed a gallon of vitamin milk had been taken. Apparently the vandal wasn't watching his or her figure.

How low can you go?: There are many ways to assault a person. This just might be the worst: A 52-year-old woman reported a suspect struck her twice in the leg with her own wheelchair.

how to provoke a fight: A woman heard a knock at the door of her new apartment. It was her husband, from whom she is separated. He discovered his wife was entertaining a male guest. The husband attempted to challenge the man to a fight by repeatedly bumping his chest against the man's chest. The guest did not throw down.,

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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