A RUDE AWAKENING: A man was jolted awake by several loud knocks on his front door. As he made his way downstairs to see who was causing the commotion, his front door was violently kicked open, and he found himself staring down the barrel of a .380 handgun. With the gunman still leveling the weapon at him, the now very wide-awake homeowner activated his alarm system, which was located just behind the front door. This spooked the gunman, who ran away and got in a green Honda Accord, which was occupied by two females.

VINDICTIVE SCISSORHANDS: A woman called police to report that a neighbor destroyed her rose bush and other flowers with a pair of scissors. The damage was valued at $55.

I LOVE THIS JOB!: During a two-year period, a pharmacy technician at a local drug store embezzled $251,650.08 worth of controlled substances and narcotics.

SERIAL VANDALISM: Someone broke into a house under construction and kicked 11 holes in the walls and damaged an oven, causing an estimated $2,500 in damage. The police report indicates three other similar cases have occurred recently, including one where the knuckleheads stole all the burners from a stove.

DEAR GOD, NO: A woman called police to report that some unknown person(s) had "disturbed the baby powder she had left on the floor." It was not clear whether the woman would require therapy following this traumatic incident, now known as The Baby Powder Disaster of 2004.

COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN: While walking down W. Trade St., a gentleman was approached by another chap who stated, "You got an ass kicking coming," and then proceeded to strike him in the back of the head with an open fist. Technically, since there was no foot-ass contact, the suspect should have said, "You got a head slap coming." Come on people, accuracy is important, even in cases of assault.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.