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The Blotter


ANY IDENTIFYING MARKS?: A distraught man called police to report that his car had been stolen. When asked for a description of the vehicle, he told them it was painted champagne gold, had 20-inch chrome wheels, and had a few bullet holes in the passenger side door.

ROAMING CHARGES FROM HELL: A collection agency for a cellular phone company contacted a Charlotte man recently in reference to his huge overdue balance. The man informed them that he had no cellular phone. According to the phone company, a second address had been added to his account. The man is currently filing a report.

H2 UH-OH: After ramming her car into a fire hydrant and causing water to spew everywhere, a woman left the scene of the accident. Unfortunately for her, a police car happened to be in the vicinity and arrested her for traffic violations.

WEARING THE PANTS: Some guys are said to be whipped by their significant others. One man, however, called police from a bar to report being beaten. After accusing him of flirting with another girl, the man's girlfriend elbowed him in the chest, then punched him repeatedly on the arm.

LOUSY CROOKS PT. 1: A three-man team cased a department store in hopes they'd come up with a way to steal some jewelry. Their eventual plan worked, and they came away with a pair of diamond earrings and a diamond ring. Unfortunately, though, the stolen items were cubic zirconium.

LOUSY CROOKS PT. 2: Two men broke into a store late one evening, after cutting power to the store and deactivating the security alarm. They made their way into the building by breaking the glass behind the security bars and squeezing their way inside. Once inside the store, however, they were unable to get the cash register open, and eventually left empty-handed.

DOGGY IN THE WINDOW: A man called police to report that his dog had been stolen. He told them he saw a man take his loyal pal from his yard, but also said that his dog could be found very easily. The man who stole the dog lived only a block away, and the sad little critter spent its time there sitting on the windowsill looking for help.

INDECISIVE INSIDE JOB: An employee at a local department store changed the price on a pair of pants, and then apparently changed his mind about paying less for them. Instead, he went all out and put the pants in a bag and took it out to his car. He was caught and fired.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Is there a motherfucking problem? I don't know why you've walked up in my space. I'm the biggest drug dealer in Charlotte, and you're dead.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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