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The Blotter


I AIN'T YOUR BABY'S DADDY: A woman dropped her three children off in a relative's front yard on her way to work recently. Unfortunately, the relative refused to allow the kids inside his house, and they stood outside in the cold for three hours.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY: Store employees called police to report a theft at a local grocery store. They told police that a man and woman worked together to place seafood in the woman's purse before attempting to leave the store. However, the employees' time was too valuable, and they let the shoplifters go while waiting for the police to show up.

COUNTER-CRITIQUE: A man came out of the movies one evening to discover that a rather large tree branch had smashed his car. He had to ask several people to help him remove it. A rumor that Gigli director Martin Brest was seen that night with a chainsaw can't be confirmed.

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES: After covering a sports event at a local bar, a Charlotte news truck headed back to the studio without their microphone since someone at the bar stole it.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Daddy said he's got a gun and he's going to shoot you.

STYLISH THEFT: Unknown persons broke into a beauty salon one evening and stole cash from a safe. They also took an 18" television, a hair dryer, and a handful of hair extensions.

ROOKIE REPO MAN?: A woman called police to report that someone attempted to tow her car away in the middle of the night. The job was botched, however. The hood was dented and scratched, the bumper was bent, the car was thrown out of alignment, and the tow attempt ruined her transmission.

SAFE? NO. SOUND? YES.: A local business was robbed recently and its alarm woke up people in a nearby neighborhood. However, the alarm company never bothered to call the police or investigate the alarm alert. The owner of the business had to arrive on the scene, shut the alarm off, and call the police himself.

MASOCHISTIC TATTLETALE: A man said this to another man recently: I'm going to fuck up my face and then go tell the police you did it. Then they'll take you to jail.

MIKE TYSON WANNABE: A woman called police to report that a young man had punched a hole in her wall for no reason at all. She also told them that he's done this before, and that he's about to go to court for the very same reason.

I'M MAGNUM, I SWEAR!: A private investigator pulled into a man's driveway to turn around recently, when out of nowhere, a car pulled in behind him and blocked him in. The other driver was the owner of the house, and he began to curse at the private investigator. The investigator showed the irate man his I.D., but it did no good. The man cursed some more and refused to move his car. He ran down the street to a pay phone and dialed 911. Once in touch with police, he was informed that the stranger was indeed a private investigator.

SHARK ATTACK: A man called police to inform them about harassing phone calls he'd been receiving at his home. The calls were for his daughter, and were from a man she knew who was in an Orange County, CA, prison. The man who called police said that when the prisoner calls and gets him, he doesn't speak. Instead, he hums the theme to the movie Jaws.

Blotter items are taken from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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