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The Blotter


WELCOME TO CHARLOTTE!: Someone from the Charlotte Bobcats' office called police to report that an unknown person stole approximately $1100 from their petty cash box. The key to the valuable box was kept in a desk drawer.

YOGI'S WIFE GETS PHYSICAL: A fight broke out between two people recently that ended with a tactical move only Grizzly Adams could love. After being thrown to the ground by a man, a woman jumped up and grabbed him in a bear hug. She wouldn't let go, and had to be physically removed by responding officers.

THIS ONE TIME, AT BAND CAMP: Life might have imitated art, after an unknown person broke into a school classroom and stole a student's flute. The writers and the director of American Pie could not be reached for comment.

BACK ALLEY BASH: After a heated argument took place over the topic of an abortion, a man began punching his girlfriend's stomach in an attempt to hurt her unborn child. His DIY abortion method was halted, however, when she grabbed a screwdriver and stabbed him with it.

EL CHEAPO LAWN SERVICE: A man called police to report that a group of unknown people had set fire to his grass. No one was injured and the damage was minimal. He will, however, not have to mow the lawn for a while.

BACK TO SCHOOL BLUES: The first day back to school after Christmas break didn't go too well for one student, and he vented his frustration aloud. He was taken to the principal's office and refused to remove his toboggan when asked. The principal reportedly snatched the hat off the student's head, at which point the young man grabbed the principal's coffee mug, left the office, and called police to report being assaulted. He eventually returned the mug, and witnesses say the principal never assaulted him.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: If you ever come back to Maryland, we will kill you. You are the reason for our Dad's death.

DIFFERENT STROKES: A woman called police to report a harassing phone call. She said that she was very upset by the man's comments, which included the enticing and lovely, "I'm going to jack off while I talk to you."

DRIVING WITH A SCREW LOOSE: After driving down the street, a woman noticed that her car was leaving a trail of oil. She pulled to the side of the road, looked under the car, and discovered that someone had loosened the bolt to her oil pan.

LIGHTS OUT FOR YOU!: A man called police to report a threatening phone call. The caller said: I could hire a hitman to come and kill you. I'm claiming money from when you lived with me and didn't pay the power bill.

WRESTLING FAN BUSTED: One man's interrogation at the police department wasn't going very well, so he decided to jump up and perform a flying kick on the room's door. The frame and lock were damaged.

ZERO-ALARM FIRE: A reporting officer dispatched a fire crew to a local high school in response to a small fire in a restroom. The fire, however, had burned out before they got there as a student had merely set fire to a piece of paper which he had taped to the wall in the restroom. And the cost to taxpayers for needlessly calling the fire department is . . .

A NASTY SPILL: A fight between two people ended up hurting a third recently, when one of the people in the fight threw boiling water at the other. Oddly enough, the water bounced off this person, did a little zigzag, and landed on the innocent bystander's face.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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