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The Blotter


DUDE, YOU GOT A DELL!: Using the latest stealth techniques, one sly fellow picked up a brand new computer and walked right out of a store with it. Upon seeing the man steal the computer and place it in his car, store officials confronted him and recovered the stolen merchandise. The man responded by running them over.

GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAL!: A man decided that he was in the mood for a joy ride in his truck, and that an empty soccer field was just the place. He later called police to inform them that he was unable to control his vehicle and it had flipped over. He now owes approximately $1000 in damages to the field.

THE DAY THE MUSIC DIED: Police received a call one afternoon in reference to a burglary. Unknown people broke into a man's business and stole a 14-foot trailer. The trailer was used to haul band equipment for a local high school. Maybe the burglar was a music critic.

27-18-31: Some people prefer sticks to assault people, others like guns, and some like chains. One creative thug decided to push new boundaries in the art of the beatdown when he attacked someone with a combination lock.

ED MCMAHON STRIKES AGAIN: Two separate incidents this month have left two women nervous. The first woman said she received a letter in her mailbox from an unknown person. The second said she, too, received a piece of mail at her home and that it disturbed her. There was no return address on either of the letters. One of the women informed police that several of her friends had received the same letter.

SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT THE LIGHTS ON: An unknown person used a rock to smash a residential power box meter and then tore wires from it. It is unclear how high the resident's power bill was at the time of the incident.

TIME FOR A DISHWASHER: Two people were involved in a fight over a dirty pot that sat in their kitchen sink. A woman demanded that the man wash it but he refused. After arguing for awhile, they took it outside where the woman suddenly pushed the man. He retaliated by punching her in the face.

YOUR CHEESE IS DYNAMITE!: A local pizza place answered the phone one evening expecting the usual order. Instead, the caller informed the employee on the phone that there was a bomb in the store and it was set to go off in five minutes. The manager of the store immediately evacuated all customers and employees and called 911. A search of the building was conducted but no bomb was found.

SUNDAY EDITION IS TOO EXPENSIVE: Robbery hit an all-time low recently as a man decided to rob a paperboy. The man told the paperboy that he had a weapon but did not brandish anything. Police were called to the scene but were told that nothing had been stolen. The man fled on foot.

ATTACK THE PLAQUE: A man stopped by a drug store one afternoon and left about 15 minutes later. Employees called police to inform them that the man left without paying for an electric toothbrush.

IT WAS SOMETHING I ATE: A man actually called police to report feeling ill. He told them he ingested an unknown substance.

NEVER HIT AN ANIMAL: An unleashed dog walked over to his owner's neighbor's yard and did what all dogs with that sort of freedom do. The neighbor called the dog's owner and the two met and exchanged heated words. The dog owner responded by pummeling his neighbor in the face and chest. Someone needs obedience school.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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