News & Views » The Blotter

The Blotter

by

comment
Renovated Two-Seater:
When a car owner returned to his car last week, he quickly became aware that something was amiss. Upon further inspection, the car owner soon discovered that, despite no other apparent damage, the rear seat of his car had been completely removed and hauled away. Although the man had left his car unlocked, nothing besides the back seat was reported missing.

Express Yourself:
A few punk kids were picked up by police when they were caught spraying graffiti on someone's fence. When the culprits spotted the police, they took off on foot and tried to stash the paint cans. Police quickly caught up with the spray-painting hoodlums and placed them under arrest after assessing the damage to the fence where the painters sprayed "Mr. White Man," "Love vs. Hate" and "Lost Chaos" in black spray paint.

Could Be Gophers:
It seems that someone left some larger than usual divots on several putting greens at a local golf course. The greens at holes 5, 12 and 13 all had holes dug into them some time overnight. Luckily, the groundskeepers were able to repair the damage in time for the first tee time early the next morning.

Cut Short:
A shoplifter was lucky to get off with nothing but an arrest after the stunt he tried to pull last week. The man attempted to walk out of a local home improvement store without paying for the several items he had decided on. Instead of paying, the man decided to stuff the items down his pants and simply walk out of the store. Unfortunately, nothing is simple about trying to walk out with two rather large saw blades stuffed down your pants. Unsurprisingly, the store's employees quickly caught up with the waddling thief "a few feet from the building."

Battle of The Bulge:
People can't seem to keep things out of their pants. Another shoplifter tried to give a local sports store the slip last week and walk out with a pair of $125 hiking shoes. The thief attempted to conceal the bulky merchandise in his pants, but apparently the curious bulges tipped off the store employees, who apprehended the shoe-stuffer and handed him over to the police.

Smashing Pumpkins:
During the night it seems someone took some frustration out on a woman's mailbox. She woke up to find her mailbox smashed and thrown into the street. The mail seemed to be OK, but a "smashed pumpkin not belonging to the victim" was also found near the mailbox -- perhaps a premature Halloween "trick."

Quickie:
Two women got a free show last week when a flasher decided to give them a little preview. The two women looked on in disbelief as a complete stranger got out of his car, completely in the buff, and then proceeded to stare at the two women until they were thoroughly weirded out, at which point he got back into his car and drove away.

Hey, Pizza Man!:
A man was robbed at gunpoint last week by several unknown gunmen. These particular gunmen must have been thinking with their stomachs, as their booty included a large deep-dish pizza complete with its insulated cover and a 2-liter bottle of soda in addition to the $40 in cash and cell phone they took from the victim.

In the Dog House:
Last week, a dog owner came home to find that her pet was now suddenly homeless. Someone had broken into her backyard and, apparently not seeing anything to their liking, settled on taking the doghouse. On a brighter note, the dog was not at home at the time of the house snatching.

Can I Take A Message?:
A Charlotte woman finally reached her limit last week and called police after receiving several threats. The culprit has continuously called the woman, asking "to pick up the keys to her residence." When the woman said no, the caller became enraged, screaming, "I want the keys to the house. If you don't let me get the rest of my things, I'll burn the mother-f*cking house down." After calling the woman's home twice, the caller tried her at her place of employment. When the caller discovered that she was not available, he left a message with one of her co-workers.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

Add a comment