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The Blotter

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Now That's an Entrance: Deciding against the conventional way of robbing a convenience store, one thief opted for a more creative approach. Instead of coming into the store through the door, this petty thief smashed one of the large side windows and climbed through the shards. After his award-winning entrance, the thief grabbed 100 packs of his favorite cigarettes and took off.

I Like To Watch: During the early morning hours of a Sunday, a woman discovered that someone was scratching her car parked outside. The woman reported to police that "for about 20 minutes," she observed the man as he scratched the passenger and driver's side doors and then the trunk. The woman said that the man also poured "an unknown substance," which she thought to be sugar, into her gas tank. What has police (and me) stumped on this case is why this genius stood there for 20 whole minutes just watching her car being destroyed before even thinking of calling the police.

Bad Karma: One shoplifter got her just rewards last week when she tried to sneak out some clothing without bothering to pay. The thief spotted an appealing store display and decided to help herself, placing the stolen items in a large shopping bag. In all, the thief attempted to take a brown blouse and a black yoga jacket before being apprehended and taken into custody.

Fairy Tale Marriage: A run-of-the-mill marital altercation turned ugly last week and required police involvement. The husband claims that his wife began to throw things at him when he attempted to wake her from a nap. Apparently not your typical sleeping beauty, the wife, in addition to throwing things at her prince charming, sat up and bit him on his chest. The wife then appealed to police saying that after yelling at her couch-potato of a husband for watching TV, he began to choke her and hit her on the back of the head. No visible signs of injury were found on the wife, the husband's bite marks were photographed... and they lived happily ever after.

No Free Rides: A bus driver was assaulted last week when an aggressive mother didn't get her way. It seems that the bus driver was unwilling to pay for the bus fare of the woman's child, resulting in an argument between the two adults. As a closing argument, this role model of a mother spat on the driver and left.

Dress Code Violator: Police arrived at a local nightclub last week in response to a small scuffle between a bouncer and an improperly dressed client. The fashion faux-pas client was supposedly assaulted and removed from the club by the bouncer in question after the two were involved in an argument. The argument was a result of the bouncer forcing the man to change out of his jersey before being allowed into the club. The man was upset and told the bouncer that there was someone already in the club with a similar jersey. The bouncer then told the difficult man to leave but the man "was going out the wrong way" when the bouncer "grabbed him" and escorted him out.

Gimme, I Want It!: A quarreling couple regressed back to their elementary school behavior last week when neither was getting their way. She wanted to go to a club. He just wanted to go home. She became irate and started punching him in the chest and ripping his shirt. When this failed to deter him (he was driving), she put the car in park at the next stoplight. This caused the man to yank the keys out of the ignition and get out of the car, leaving her inside. She then jumped out of the car and came after her boyfriend with flailing arms, attempting to get the keys away from him. Police soon arrived to separate the infantile couple and discovered that both had been drinking (surprise, surprise).

A Film Critic's Nightmare: Several employees were charged with embezzlement when it was discovered that they had been stealing from their place of employment. The crooks took several items of clothing but mostly stole DVDs and several VHS tapes. The most disturbing discovery of this report, however, is the horrific taste in film of these thieves. Titles like How High, Wishmaster 3 and How To Be A Player were just some of the films these crooks decided to swipe.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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